Private bank accounts/credit cards

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Private bank accounts/credit cards
9
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 8:12pm
Does anyone have a secret/private account or credit card that they use for purpose of doing things/going places with OM? My husband watches our finances like a hawk. I would like to be able to charge stuff/go places without him having the chance of finding anything.

Did you actually get a PO Box or use a different address when you applied for credit card or bank account? For example, can I use my work address, or will it not go through when I apply for a credit card (since it doesn't match the address on my credit report)?

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 9:38pm

I'm divorced. He's M. He had a cell, but it was for work. He doesn't have one now so we got one together. Which only he and I share and know about. The bill comes to me and he sends a direct payment to it. The bad thing is ONLY he and I use it which means he has to be very careful. He can't simply take it out & use it anywhere cause noone knows about it except us.


If I want to send him a little something I bought for him, some type of little gift I picked up I send it to his work. I get his OK first then I send it.


Hope that helps.....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 9:45pm
Well...I was in a 'situation' (although not an A) where it was necessary for me to hide a credit card and bank account from my H. What I did was I applied for the credit card using my home address...luckily for me, I'm usually home when the mail arrives so I was able to intercept the initial correspondances from the credit card company. I then immediately changed the mailing address to my work address...I actually did this online using the credit card's website...most cards will allow you to make changes to your account online. From that point on, all the statements were sent to my work address...H never knew a thing about it. I've since closed both the credit card and bank accounts as I no longer need them. It can be done...but a word of caution...if for any reason your H has a credit history done and your name appears jointly on anything, that 'secret' card will show up on the report. Good luck!

Bfly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 9:15am
I don't have any accounts that my STBXH does not know about. I don't worry about it now since we are separated now. I always use cash when I need to do something for my MM. I can always say I went to the hair dresser and I do club it with my other expenses so that there is no suspicion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 10:19am
The truth of the matter is, we should each establish our own credit anyway (man or woman). In the event of a break-up or (God forbid) death of a spouse, it's good to have something we can rely on that is not at risk of being cancelled. Perhaps you should apply for a credit card under your name alone, using that as an excuse. Then after you've had it for awhile, you could change the statement address to work. And don't forget to use a phone number other than one your husband could potentially answer. You don't want the card company calling to verify a charge, and having your husband pick up the phone. They shouldn't give out any info other than to you -- but why risk it? I would just be careful to pay the balance off each month so nothing appears on your credit report other than that you have the card (which H will already know).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 10:53am
sista, we are talking about private/secret accounts or cards, as in the H don't know anything about. All the credit cards I have are in my name only, but my stxbH knows about, don't send it to any other place other than my home. I won't have it any other way, esp with credit cards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 10:58am
Hey Funny... yeah, I know that was the question... but I'm thinking there is really no such thing as a "private or secret" account since our social security numbers tie everything together. So my thinking is to 'hide' it in plain site. What's the downside of having statements sent to work? You think there may be risk involved?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 11:11am
Don't know, hon. Never had it sent to work, never will. I agree nothing is "secret" if they know your social. I did have one advantage though, we had unspoken agreement about opening up mail for each other - we don't unless we ask each other to do it. I guess I first my H was surprised that I wouldn't open his mail, but he eventually learnt not to touch mine. ;-)


Edited 3/17/2004 12:20 pm ET ET by funnyface03
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 11:18am
Just a general comment here, but I have a credit union checking account. And they never send out statements for the acct. I'm the only one who has access to account information online. I think most checking accounts, especially if you ask for it, can be set up without sending out monthly statements to you.

On the other hand, I think credit cards may be a little risky because if they do fall in the wrong hands, everything there is clear to see.

I prefer to use cash for things I want to hide from H (such as shopping, hey, we've all been there!!)

Actually, last week he was "auditing" our accts. and asking me what I was spending here and there. Of course, I have nothing to hide, because MM pays for the hotels, I never have.

But just my miscellaneous shopping he was giving me a hard time about. Thank god for that other account where I have a little money going in there and can do whatever the h*ll I want with it !!

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 03-17-2004 - 11:20am
Routine - I have had many credit card accounts in my name only, and had the statements sent to my office. H had no idea - however, caution, if you live in a marital property state as I do CC companies are supposed to send notifications to your spouse and they can go to your husbands address (i.e. home) regardless of the address you use on your account. In addition, these accounts can show up on a joint credit report even if they aren't joint accounts. I had to do some tap dancing when an account showed up when we were refinancing our house and my accounts have/had nothing to do with MM - they were just a means of me asserting my independence.

I've since found that honesty is better (okay, in this case at least! :)) - the poster who mentioned establishing your own credit is right on the money and that's a great reason.

We also have a joint checking account but each have our own checking accounts at our own banks - this way we each have "play money" that we're not accountable to the other for (and is what I used to buy MMs birthday present!)

There's nothing wrong with having control over some of your own money - even if that has nothing to do with OM!