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|Mon, 08-27-2012 - 1:53am|
I feel like this should be an introduction since have I been gone too long to simply say "I'm back." But I have posted here before - I don't even remember when.
I am married with 2 grown children - and an MM for the past 7 years. We work together (I won't cover the entire story again). As I mentioned in another post, our work lives and personal lives are changing so that we have less time together and less hope of a future than we had before. Seven years may be our limit, but they have all been good.
He has been on a trip to remote locations the last 3 weeks and communication has been restricted. Part of me accepts that he has done the best he could - but part of me wonders if he is using the travel as an excuse to separate from me. i am quite frustrated and lacking confidence at this point - thinking that he is planning the end. I have played that scene in my head every day so I won't be surprised if that is his decision. I have also considerd my own decisions, and while I would mourn losing him, I know it is time to move on. Not because I don't love him but because there is no point in me wanting something I can't have.
My DH is a "good man" but so unlike MM. Not talkative, very pessimistic, and not passionate - while MM is very talkative, very optimistic and very passionate. i would usually be hopeful that MC could bring us back to each other, but that seems like too much to ask. And I worry about how honest I could be.
Ironically, another man from my past has been approaching me about a relationship. I laughed because it would be a disaster on multiple levels! Plus his advances only solidified for me: I am in love with MM.
That's my story. I expect to be here in tears, but I'm glad this place still exists for the joys and sorrows of an affair.