Proper anger management
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Proper anger management
| Thu, 07-24-2003 - 12:16am |
The NC is still going on between MM and I. He is on the computer logged in to IM quite a bit, and refuses to be the first to communicate. Maybe I am being stubborn, but I feel as though he has treated me disrespectfully, and I refuse to give in. There has been no aurgument what-so-ever. The communication just stopped. Maybe this is his way of ending it. It is fine with me at this point. I already decided before this that he was a jerk. Sooo, now I am left with the decision as to whether or not to email him one last letter to say my peace. I am so angry right now that I would not know what to say in it without stooping to his level. I will be removing him from my contact list tonight. I am sick of seeing him log in and not speak to me. Anyone have any opinions on this??

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I don't know if this is his way of ending it - I tend to think NOT. I tend to think he is just doing his thing and not really thinking about how it is effecting you. This happens often in EMAs.
Just the same, I wouldn't pursue it if I were you. You sound very angry, and this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I would simply remove him from my contact list and resolve to not have any contact with him going forward.
If you need support in this, let me know.
There is no point hanging on to something that is only making you angry... remove him and avoid the temptation.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
and adara... you're more than welcome to stay around and vent, cry and even laugh when you need to.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I just read this thread and agree with Yoga and Sweet. You are now making decisions to do what's best for you. THAT alone will help you with the self esteem issues. Suddenly you realize that you are important and what's best for you is good for you, too.
A note about your M... a friend has recently pointed out to me that often our Hs react to us in a set pattern, and part of that is our own fault. We fell into the pattern too. I started demanding that my H be more affectionate and show some passion for me.... but what did *I* do to generate that kind of reaction for him? My usual routines and complaints! So now I am focusing on *acting* like a sexy, passionate woman around him and noting how his reaction to me changes... I'm not just the W anymore!
Think about what you can do to show your H how YOU have changed, and that will help encourage a different reaction from him. And talk! Talk to him about what you want, what you need, what you would like to give to him. These discussions CAN be done in a way that is non-threatening but still honest and productive. It's all about your M and what you both want that R to be...
good luck! And by all means stick around. This board has been very constructive in helping me work on my M, and any support I can offer you is the benefit of my experience here!
-lily
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