Q for the men (and of course others)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Q for the men (and of course others)...
33
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 8:43pm
Again, only about an hour together but MM and I laughed and I was so relaxed. We really had a good time. It was like laughing and spending time with a dear friend. Our ending was typical- he walked me to my car, we talked for awhile, etc. I could see him lick his bottom lip a few times so did the same. He lifted me up and carried me to the drivers side. Not sure why he did this, but it was touching/contact regardless. We talked some more, hemmed and hawed a bit, hugged and then kissed. Again, not the passionate type but our usual closed mouth one. I did take his bottom lip in ever so slightly when we did kiss. I did not go for anything more. I don't want to lose the little I have with him.



So, now- a few hrs later I sit and feel all these emotions... I think the light bulb came on as I drove home that the "email MM" which is very sexual and "real MM" are so different. The 'real' is funny and is the one I could fall for. The email one is the guy that makes me 'excited' in a physical sense. ( which is ok too.). But if the truth be known- I don't think we will ever consummate our relationship. And as much as I want him in this way, I don't want to have a fling, end it and our friendship. Then I am left with nothing. So, here's my question to you... I want to semd him an email sometime this weekend to say thanks for today ( even though drinks were on me). I want to tell him that all kidding aside- he is wonderful and I hope he realizes it. Or, someone not too far away thinks he's wonderful. I also want to thank him for softening my rough- edged heart. He is so sweet and I have told him that before as well.



So, can I tell him these things w/o him freaking out and thinking I am in love with him? I'm a grown woman and believe that it's time to act like one. I don't want to tell him too many of my thoughts but want to let him know that he means something special to me. Again, I just want to bare a little of my heart/soul to him but not make myself vulnerable to hurt. I just want to let him know he is special and appreciated. Is that so bad?



Life is too short to not let the people you care about know these things, right? My gosh- it is apparent that I may be feeling something for him, isn't it? Will he sense that?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 11:14am
How do you all do it, working with your MM? That would

drive me nuts...I really feel for all of

you who do work with them. I admire you all handeling

your situations as best as you can.

You all seem like nice, loving warm women, who are

truly in love. You are are helping me deal

with my situation also, I am learing from you women out

there, along with Bis and Boston (our Men).

Keep us posted on your replys from your e-mails.

Bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 5:32pm
MM and I are different in age- he being 6 yrs younger. Anyhow, since I told him how I feel and what I think of him-, things seem to be the same. I am cautious as I do not want to drive him away. I will not say too much, if anything, to him again. Oh, and by the way- if you read my other post- my H caught me. I left an email open to my MM and H read it while I was at a meeting. We are starting counseling but that is more for him than me. I am in love with MM- but I'm not blonde and dumb ( just blonde!). I know MM will not leave his family for me. I would not ask him nor ever expect him too. His W is gorgeous and nice, great kids as well. What purpose I serve in his life is a mystery to me. We have not had IC or any oral- just kissing and hugging. So at least I can honestly say to H we have not been physically intimate.

I am rambling now... but I just wanted to say that my MM seems to be ok with my telling him how I feel; I just hope he is not feeling 'sorry' for me and thinking he needs to stick around because I am sick... I would not want that. I only want what is genuine from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 5:46pm
Yes, I did read the other posts re your e-mail being open. I do

not have or will ever own a computer at home, that is one god

example of why, the other is that I am on it all day, and

am tired of it when I do get home.

As I said my MM is 5years younger than I, and the same regarding

Ic, only kissing and touching. But the passion.is unbelieveable.

I am glad he seems to be OK with what you said, it I believe

shows you he is mature enough to respect what you said, and I am

sure he was taken with what you said also.

Going to therapy with your H is a very positive approach, at least

your H knows your willing. I know your in love with you MM and

so am I.

Also just because his W if beautiful, there must be something in

you that your MM really loves, or likes. Like Bis said to me

our MM appproached us, we did not know, in the beginning, why,

but something attracted them to us. Bis said we probably

will never know the reason.

I do not feel he feels sorry for you, he probably would like to

say something similiar to you but cannot because of his

commitments to his family. Having a wife and no kids is hard enough,I cannot

imagine what having kids would be like, having everything else

to deal with.


I do believe you wil still see him, or I think he would have

sent you back something via e-mail. Please let me know when

happens tomorrow, and thanks again for your support.

Bunny

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