Q for those who reconnected aftr long NC
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| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:50am |
I really shouldn't be asking this because I'm forcing myself consider my R with XMM to be completely and permanently over. However, his last email to me was titled "This is good bye for a while" so it kinda left the door open. What I'm wondering is: For those of you who reconnected after a long period of NC (ie several months) how did the reconnection come about? Who contacted who? Was it by phone, by email? Why did you reconnect?
XMM asked me not to contact him so I won't, no matter how much I might want to. But he knows me well and knows that I'm always here for him and that I'll always love him. I don't know that I'll ever hear from him again. As I said above, I'm forcing myself to believe I won't because that's the only way I can move on. At the same time, I'm leaving the door open if he wants to reach me. (Changed my home # but he can reach me at other numbers or through email.) Anyway I'd love to hear stories from people who did reconnect after time apart.
Thanks!
GB2

I reconnected after a long NC. I did the initiating part (as usual). You see, I am very good at that...LOL. I sent an email to him saying I had found somebody else, goodbye and so forth. About my email - it was all lies, no iota of truth in them.. That made him blow his gasket.. He felt I belonged to him. This from a man who claimed "we were never more than just friends". Ha! I know, that was very conviving of me - but heck, it was better than cry my heart out every day for him. :(
So there you go on my re-connection story after a long NC. It can be good, well partially. Because the other part you are crying all the time. The good part is that it makes you re-evaluate your feelings/situation at home and think about things that went wrong and how they can be fixed. It can make you realize you have been missing something in your life. Its a two edged sword, it can kill and help you.
Edited 5/20/2004 9:49 am ET ET by fantasyhere
Edited 5/20/2004 9:53 am ET ET by fantasyhere
My mm ended our R after 6 weeks and four sexual encounters. Now that doesn't seem like much time together but it was fabulous sex and VERY passionate and intimate. But he said he felt guilty and that I was too close to his family (sons are best friends, I work for the same co., lived real close) He said he would come home after being with me and have to kiss his family and then see my son in his living room and he would see me. So we had a long talk and we parted "friends" although I cried every morning in the shower listening to Michelle Branch's Hotel Paper Cd. I cried less and less but at the same time within a week of us "breaking up" he started leading me on. He would say things to me on the phone (during a typical business call) and then go cold on me. I would get my hopes up then the next time we would talk he would not even act like we ever had anything between us. After I confronted him once on the phone about it he said "Well I guess I have to watch what I say to you" :(
But that didnt' stop him still. SO finally after about 6 0 7 weeks of normal business / sometimes flirt with me Contact... I said we needed a face to face talk. This kind of thing drives him nuts because he wants to know now...no surprises
It drove him crazy because I wasnt' going to talk over the phone
Finally he came down to my office an hour before I was to close and we talked over a small glass of wine. (plastic cups from opne house) I didn't expect much, just wanted to let him know that I was working on getting over "it" and him flirting was making it difficult.. I told him I missed him but time would help that. I expected to be let down gently ...you know. And sometimes it seemed like he was going to do just that.
He told me amoung other things that he missed me too, but he had deep feelings for his wife and always would. Then he dropped the bomb. He said he had deep feelings for me...deeper than i probably realized and he wanted things to go back the way they were! My chin I know must have hit the ground. All I could do was hug him and we started kissing. The feelings were overwhelming and I have never felt closer to him then that night. On the way home he called me on his cell just to tell me to look at the sunset and isn't it beautiful. This is a memory I will always cherish of him.
So I know we weren't appart as long and didn't have 0 contact, but it felt like a hundred years now that I look back on it.
dd
Anyway, thanks again. And if anyone else has a story to share I'd love to hear it.
Peace
GB2
Anyway, thanks for sharing!
GB2
I know in my heart (and horoscope haha)I should move on because I have "healed" but my lust says, keep it cumming!!
I think you should do what you feel will be best for YOU!