Question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2011
Question...
24
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 12:57pm

Had an interesting conversation today with AP. Basically, after yet another ending we are right back in A-Land again, despite our best efforts to 'do the right thing' we just can't seem to stick to it...embarrassingly so.

So today we got onto the subject of where will this ever end?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:10pm
My A started as PA , no feelings etc. But now since emotions have come into play, it has changed everything.

Having done a lot of research ( lol ) on internet , I figure, if your A is just an EA and you are able to keep it an EA , it is likely that you have found your soulmate but since one or both are M and D is not an option at that moment, it causes a lot of pain to both.
The want, the need, the longing-- everything increases ten fold as in PA .The breakup in EA can be like death.
Is your A EA or PA ? I dont know your story, sorry !
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:20pm
Inlovewith, thanks. Mine is a pretty intense 14 month PA with a co-worker. Due to this we spend a LOT of time together. We tried to end and remain friends recently...but we last about a week. We have a huge spark, that led us to talking about why earlier...is it because we are in a 'secret relationship' or would we have that anyway? Suppose we'll never know....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:22pm
You could try to cut out the PA and see if your A lasts ? If it does , I guess we all would know !
Good Luck !
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:32pm
I've been in my A for a year and a half and its still wonderful. We are so in love, so connected, and it only keeps intensifying the longer we are together. For me, its just him, not the drama or excitement of an A. I've been with others, I've met many, NO ONE compares to AP...

I'm doing this for me because it's the "right" thing to do.... NC since 1/14/14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 4:31pm
I think that soul mates develop over time, they are not found. Attraction is what draws people in, time is what builds the bond.

Read these links, i found these on my search for the answer to whether or not what i am feeling is real love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2008
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 4:41pm

I've wondered about this very thing as well, but I would have to say that I know I love my AP like I've never loved anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 6:15pm

Titchy-

IMO, Asking why you haven't gotten bored with each other is like asking an alcoholic why they haven't gotten bored with drinking.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:19pm
titchy123 wrote:

Had an interesting conversation today with AP. Basically, after yet another ending we are right back in A-Land again, despite our best efforts to 'do the right thing' we just can't seem to stick to it...embarrassingly so.

So today we got onto the subject of where will this ever end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
In reply to: titchy123
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:41pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
In reply to: titchy123
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 12:08am

I don't believe in sole mates. I agree with pretty much everything sireanita said. I think that some people's personalities just work with our own. This is how we make connections with others and become close with them. Then, from those people, there will be the ones that not only do the personalities match up well, but theres a physical attraction. So, no, there is no such thing as a sole mate because there are tons of guys out there that given the right time, circumstance, etc. I could be a good match with and be happy with.

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