Question about friends..........(m)
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Question about friends..........(m)
|Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:22am|
Last night I had to hear the third degree from my best friend. First she started off telling me that I am a grown woman and can do what I want with my life. Then she proceeds to tell me what a fool I am for being involved with MM. She is about the only one that I will allow to say anything about him because she is the only one that truly knows him the way that I do. But last night she went to far in my opinion. She proceeds to tell me that I will be stuck with him for the rest of my life because I have shut out any other real possibilities. She said that he is selfish and only ever thinks about himself. That I should be with a man like her husband. I tried to explain to her that I have not given up on the chance at a real relationship but none have just come along for me. She said that I have set my standards to high. I thought it was a good thing to know what you wanted in a man and not to settle for less. She said I need to settle for less because the man I want isn't out there. Then I said I rather be alone. She said the reason my standards are so high is because I base every other man on MM. She said I had no idea men like that were out there until I met MM. (Meaning men that don't drink, don't do drugs, have a steady good paying job and is an excellent father.)I told her she was right. Before MM I spent the majority of my life with my ex husband who, was an alcoholic, a drug addict and he physically and mentally abused me. All the men that came alone in that time and up until now all had one of the wonderful qualities that my ex husband had. Why in the world would I want to settle for that? She said not all men are that way, just look at her husband. I told her that I was happy for her and that she was very lucky but they are few and far between. What makes it harder for me to find a good man is that I am a single mother and don't have the time nor the money to go out ever week to find this so called perfect man she swears is out there for me. Besides that if I could go out where would I go to meet a man, the bar? No thank you the men that go there are all drinkers and I don't want that. I told her I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than to go back to the life I escaped from 6 years ago. She says that the only reason I think like that is because of MM. She said I will never find a real relationship because I cant get my head out of Mm's @#$. I personally would rather be in the relationship I am in now and be happy then try to have a new one with someone that could be like my ex. I am not closing the door on other men, I am just being very cautious. She thinks I base all men on MM but in fact I base them all on my ex. I will admit MM is everything in a person I could ever want and she even admits how great he is but she said that him and I will be nothing more than what we are because his wife will never leave him and he wont leave her unless she makes him go. She just kept going back to MM and my opinion on other men. She cant understand that all I am saying is that I want to be with a certain type of man and until he comes alone I am happy with the way my life is now. I have not shut any doors but I am keeping my eyes wide open. She said that all men have some bad qualities and I need to except that and settle for less. Why should I settle for less? I just don't understand why she thinks I don't deserve the best in life, she is my best friend. We had a huge fight over this and she wouldn't listen to a thing I had to say. Do your friends do this to you? How do I make her understand how I feel? Why doesn't she respect that? We never had a fight like this in the 25 years that I have known her. Why in the world would she want me to have a life just like hers, especially when I feel that she just settled for it because she was tired of being alone. Her husband is great and all but he has qualities that I wouldn't want to be a part of. Have I ever told her this, NO! It is her life and if she is happy then so am I. Why cant she do the same for me?