question about getting some items back

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
question about getting some items back
11
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:56am
My AP and I right now as you know are nc. God its been 16 days. He has some things of mine at his house that iwould like back. A movie and my spare battery charger for my cell phone. Should I email him and tell him to drop them off at my job when I'm not there or drop them off in the mail or leave them on his front porch. I dk what to do. Thanks for all advice. I would even like my sheets back. I won't ask for them.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:05pm
I think you should be able to ask for your things back. Sure, if he is choosing to be NC, you can tell him to drop them off at your work when you aren't there, or to mail them to you. It wills how that you are respectful of his wishes for space but that you also do need somethings

Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 4:41pm
Are the things really that important? Any contact with him right now might set things off again, are those things worth that possibility? I think I'd write them off.
Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 6:38pm

Movie? Can easily be replaced. Spare charger? You've got another one. Sheets? Why?

Move on, move on, move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 7:22pm
i know it's over, i just want my stuff back. i shouldn't be able to get it back. why should he have my charger and movie at his house.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 7:26pm
it's not that easy to move on when you have been intimate with someone for 3 years almost everyday.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:05pm

Moon, i think youre grasping at straws here. Your AP has gone NC with you while he figures out his life. This means that he is trying to work out what he wants and with you continually trying to get in touch with him one way or another, you arent giving him an opportunity to miss you. Youre making yourself a constant reminder that his M is ending and you are involved.

My advice would be to forget your unimportant stuff as it is easily replaceable. I know you shouldnt have to purchase new ones, but its not worth the hassle to maybe irritate him over a few measly dollar worth of goods.

Go to the healing library and do the 180. Its perfect for you right now as you can follow the advice and work on yourself. He is not with you right now so sitting around miserable isnt going to change that but when you start to get out and do things especially for yourself, not only will your mind be occupied temporarily on other things, but you wont appear so downtrodden and needy if/when you do bump into him. This appearance will remind him of the girl he fell for. Even if AP doesnt come around, you will have not sat around inert and you can pick up som sembalance of a new life.
Fake it till you make it. It really helps. It wont be instant relief but one step at a time and look after YOU.

Hugs.

SB.

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 11:14pm
i didn't email him to get it back. believe it or not i do need it.i do go out and do things for myself. i spend a lot of time at the gym.
i still do want my stuff back, but i will let it go.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 9:32am

Go on ebay and order a new charger - they're

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 12:31pm
I know it's not easy. Of course not. It's really hard. But, none the less, it's necessary. Move on. Unless you're living in poverty, the items you mentioned should be easily replaceable. It's not like he has your car. Go to half.com, you'll replace that movie for mere dollars. As the other poster said, go to ebay and replace the charger. Take care of you. That means not subjecting yourself to more emotional distress, which going back to get these little things would add, because you would have to see him. Unless that is what you really want, and not just the things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Fri, 03-12-2010 - 11:52pm

I've been trying to catch up on things, but I'm not completely sure of your situation, so forgive me if my comments seem off-base.


If you (together and individually) are sincere about wanting to maintain no communication, then I'd suggest chalking those up as lost items and get replacements for yourself.

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