Question for all?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Question for all?????
18
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 12:55pm
For those of you who met OM on-line do you ever wonder if he is talking with anyone else and telling them the same thing he is telling you? I care deeply for my OM but know for a fact that Im not the only one, How can it be love if he is talking with other women? He sent me a e-mail that was meant to be delivered to someone else. I confronted him about it and he said it was just conversation! Im upset and not talking to him any longer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 4:15pm
BAHAHAHAHA, Nomo!!! You are too funny!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 7:00pm

I met my MM online... and I know for a fact that he chats up other woman... that's him! we met in an adult chat room.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 8:24pm
OMG! What is it with these men? Are men stupid or just careless - or perhaps clueless? Or maybe, it's only the one man and we've both been caught. LOL!

My online love did exactly the same thing a couple of years ago (using yahoo email which I think must have a glitch in it every now and then). And what a fight we had, I went balistic the minute I got the 'wrong' email! You should have heard the 'story' he made up to explain it. He said it was a computer illerate friend of his using his email and writing to this other woman. Like I was ever going to believe that one. So, I tracked this other, other woman down online and chatted with her. After that I knew she was just some skank he was using for some 'dirty talk'. Although he'd sent her pics, you can guess what kind, she'd never seen a pic of his face. Boy, was she dumb. And he never spoke to her again after that. And yes, I did check. Sneaky I know but I had to put my mind to rest.

Now, if he talks to other women online I really don't get too hung up about it. I know he's just fooling around and looking for a bit of light relief. And now I'm much more secure in what I mean to him and what he feels for me and what a big part of his life I am. All is good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 11:22pm
Hi Crushed

I'm new to the board but have been reading post for awhile now and want to say that it has happen to me. My MM and I have been involved for over 5yrs now. A little over a year ago my MM told me he had been chatting with another woman while ignoring me. He told me how she was planning on meeting him and so on an so on. I was crushed and pissed...after giving him a piece of my mind he said he realized that I was the one he wants and said he ended it with OW. So I forgave him...what a fool I was. LOL Still am. Things were fine for the next few months, so I thought. Then one day he was too busy to chat with me again...so I did a little bit of snooping and low and behold there he was in a chat room. Needless to say I was furious...but just like the time before I forgave him. Our A was fun and exciting in the beginning but at some point it got too serious and the emotional rollercoaster began to take its toll on me. Over the years our A had its ups and downs just like any other R. But at the end of 2003 he said he was confused, W was being so nice to him and he wasn't sure what to do. At this point I had had it, so I emailed him explaining how I felt he should work on his M and for us to end our A. I deleted my email account so there could not be any contact. Well the NC lasted one month. Too my surprise he called me one evening saying how he couldn't live without me. And yes...I welcomed him back into my life. What did I do? I realize that I don't want to ride this rollercoaster any longer. I read post on here and can't help but to think that "Hey that's me...that's my MM" I am slowly backing off from MM. It seems to me that this kind of stuff happens quite a bit...who ever knew. How could I have thought I was the only one? I guess it was all of the I Love you's and begging for forgivness speeches. All I know is that I have learned a valuable lesson from this A...Never allow someone to continue to hurt you, no matter how much it hurts to let them go. I don't know if my story will help you any but at least you know you're not the only one. Sorry this post is soo long.

Good Luck

Livn

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 10:53am
Hi Liv, I know that my OM spent a lot of time on line. Well of course that is how we met HELLO! There were times when I felt that I was the only one. OM is not married but I dont know how single he was because when I would visit he would never have his cell phone with him ever? I should have gotten some kind of sign from that and when ever I would get on-line he was always always on line. I think out of a 12hr day he was on line 10hrs.

I dont know how I could have actually thought I was the only one?

I have learned a valuable lesson that nothing is ever like it seems.

I am determined to keep NC if it kills me and it seems like its taking a toll on me some days but other days I just keep busy so I dont think about emailing.

I know its hard but I have a great deal of will power and Im not going to let him win!

Good luck on NC because I know this roller coaster ride is over for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 1:32pm
I met my MM through the Lavalife website so do you count that as online? Looking for an intimate relationship. He started up the emails to me, then we met in person. I don't believe he talks online to other women, he told me he doesn't and I tend to believe him. He said after he'd met me, I'm enough to keep him more than satisfied and I know he doesn't go on the computer nights and weekends, that's his family time. We don't even talk to each other nights or weekends either. And we've been seeing each other just over 2 years now. He said his yahoo id is only for me and him to use. So that's his story, and he's sticking to it!!

Dusty

xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 6:05pm
Dusty, My OM told me that his yahoo ID was for only me and with that he accidently sent a e-mail to me when it was addressed to some one else! Yikes...... I totally thought I was the one and only. I really trusted him and truely loved him very much.

Im not saying that all men are like that but I experienced one and will not do that to myself again. way too much pain.

I wish you all the happiness with you om.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 02-05-2004 - 7:04pm
Thanks. We do not say we love each other however. We are willing to admit we are "fond" of each other. Its a sexual relationship, and that's why he says he is satisfied with me. And I am with him. I've asked him before if he's thought about looking for someone closer to him (because he doesn't live in my city). But he said no, he only wants to see me, and if that ended he probably wouldn't look for anyone else. He visits me about 2-4 times a month. We have a really great time. But I think sometimes he feels a little guilty about it. And he's basically a respectible family man, so I don't think he's got anyone else he's interested in. I think after this much time, he would tell me if that was the case. Because we're both 100% sure we're monogamous in our primary relationships and therefore we do not practise safe sex. And if he was suspicious about me, or if I was suspicious about him, I think one of us would insist on using condoms. Anyways, I may be stupid (or chalk it up to being blonde). But I do have a measure of trust in him. Have a good night!!

\dusty
xxxx

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