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You know, Oxbell, I do periodically, go back and re-read my prior posts and it's like reading someone else's story. I actually step back and say "whoa, what an idiot"....my head tells it to me straight but it's my heart that has a hard time listening to my head. We've always heard the saying "follow your heart" but that has proved me wrong several times in the past 18 months. I've always given him the benefit of the doubt because I knew how he struggled with guilt and the pressure of dealing with finances but I struggled with all those issues also, and I was willing to whatever it took to get through the rough financial times and he was the one who always told me that as long as we had each other, that's all that mattered and we would get through it....funny how he always had a change of heart before he even gave it a chance to work.
Well, I don't know if it's obsession as much as it's pent up anger...like I've said, I have no one I can talk to about this, not even my friends because I know how they feel about the situation. He is in a position to talk to people more than I about us and knowing how he is, I can imagine he's giving them his side of the "lie" and I have no way to defend myself against that. Funny thing about how you mentioned even if he does end up single, what kind of relationship it would be...he was always bringing up how he was afraid I was the one who would get "tired" of him or I would fall out of love with him or someone else would come along and take me away because in his mind all of this was "too good to be true" and his biggest fear of all is being left alone, but yet, he's the one who was always walking away from me. He told me that that was one thing his W kept pushing on him about me too was how someday he was going to be in the same position as her, alone, because she gave it a year or two and I was going to be the one to leave him and break his heart...she's all CONCERNED about his heart being broken... Funny how he's the one who's been unfaithful to her for years before I came along and this is the first time in 15 years I ever cheated on my husband, but I'm being made to look like the big bad evil woman who is going to hurt him...I think she is as pathetic as he is.
Gabby, I was going to respond to your thread, but since it's gone, I'll respond here.
You should search your previous
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Then I
He is in a position to talk to people more than I about us and knowing how he is, I can imagine he's giving them his side of the "lie" and I have no way to defend myself against that. Funny thing about how you mentioned even if he does end up single, what kind of relationship it would be...he was always bringing up how he was afraid I was the one who would get "tired" of him or I would fall out of love with him or someone else would come along and take me away because in his mind all of this was "too good to be true" and his biggest fear of all is being left alone, but yet, he's the one who was always walking away from me. He told me that that was one thing his W kept pushing on him about me too was how someday he was going to be in the same position as her, alone, because she gave it a year or two and I was going to be the one to leave him and break his heart...she's all CONCERNED about his heart being broken... Funny how he's the one who's been unfaithful to her for years before I came along and this is the first time in 15 years I ever cheated on my husband, but I'm being made to look like the big bad evil woman who is going to hurt him...I think she is as pathetic as he is.