Question for guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Question for guys
7
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:31pm
I'm looking for a little advise because I don't know what to do. My MM has been very busy at work, and I kow this, so I don't bug him. Thing is that the last two e-mails were iniciated(sp?) by me. I got a response, but they were very short and also very apologetic that he could not write more. It's been NC since then. (About two weeks) I miss him like crazy, but I don't want to be too pushy. Should I e-mail him, or wait for him to e-mail me. I just don't want to push him away. HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:53pm
No, dont email him. Wait for him to initiate contact again. It happened with my MM and I sms'ed him, emailed him his answered very briefly and for a moment I thought he wanted to end it, so I for a little while continued to email him. The nagging and pushing was too much. He called up angrily telling me to give him some space. He has enough pressure at work and at home, He can barely handle one woman (his W) and doesnt need the extra pressure from me. So, I backed off. I let him initiate the emils, phone calls, etc. Now, its better than ever. He always comments on how he would never find a more understanding woman, someone who allows him space to breathe and doesnt dramatize the situation. Because in an affair, this is what men are looking for. Simplicity!!! Back off a bit (just make sure he needs the space because of work pressure and not another affair)!! IT will only do you both good! (It's also ALWAYS very useful to be less available!) Believe me, in no time he will be the one looking to see and talk to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 4:18pm
I agree..do not e-mail him..be patient..I go through the

same thing and have taken the advise from others on these

posts.. definately do not bug him.

Do let him contact you, I realize this somewhat makes

you feel used.....him using you when you are always

there and willing. I agree with being a little un-available.

I think men do like that, they know their woman is not

at their beck and call, I believe it also shows confidence,

and boston on this post had once told me that there is

nothing more attractive than a confident women to a man.

Well,Miss Confidence what do you think!! It has worked for

me, with the advise of boston and rain. I get nice e-mails

3-4 times a week now, before it was 1-2 a week.


Try it and let us now, be patient, he will e-mail you.

Button

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:28pm

not2sure... I have to agree with the others... don't email him... let him come to you!

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 9:53am
Thanks for the advice. I guess I already knew the answer I just needed some reassurance. I'm so glad I found this board. You guys are keeping sane.

N2S

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:04am
.


Edited 10/1/2004 7:05 pm ET ET by sally289
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:10am
Reading the boards this morning helped me decide NOT to contact mm until he contacts me. I spoke to him Thurs for quite a while and we had a great conversation. We were going to try to get together Friday morning before I left for the weekend with H but he never called me so I assume that it was busy at his house. I spoke with his assistant yesterday and she confirmed to me the fact that he is totally burried with work. I called him yesterday morning and got the "I'm on another line" message but didn't leave a message, just the "missed call". He didn't call me back yesterday and I was going to call him today but I've decided to back off and let him contact me. I feel better about doing that then calling him, I am not needy and I don't want him to feel more pressure then what he is alreday getting from work.


Lets see how I am at the END of the week! UGH!

Staying strong!

deedee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:00pm
I do agree with the 'no contact'. Let them contact us.

I have left one voice mail today telling him to have a good

day and that I miss him. That was it. No e-mails yet this

week.beginning of the months are his billing period for

last months work.

I know when to back off and so far it is the best thing to do,

especially when I have noticed most of us speak with our

MM at work. There is alot of pressure on all of us at work

and endless emails and phone messages add to the stress.

So, be patient, and by the end of the week, the e-mails

should come roling around again and the phone calls.


Bunny