Question for the MM here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Question for the MM here
5
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:04pm
As a MW in a new A with a MM, I have a question for any of you MM who may be checking in every now in then on this board. Is it really just for sex or do you really love your OW? I know many are in it for just sex, but my MM seems very different. Just wanted to check to see if I'm being blinded, or is it possible to having a meaningful relationship and still keep your M?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:46pm
I am not a MM, I am a SW but my MM just told me the other night that he could not be involved with me or the A if there weren't feelings involved...we both say we love each other...and I know it isn't just for the sex because there are plenty of times that we are together and we are not intimate...we have a great friendship/relationship and love to spend time with each other. so, I believe the answer to your question is yes, it is possible to having a meaningful relationship and still keep your M.
Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:47pm
Granted, my A is mostly about the sex. I don't admit it very often but I do care deeply for my MM. He has been and will continue to be a very good friend. As far as making it all work with M and all. Yes, I think that it can all work. The reason I began this adventure was because of the lack of intimacy with my H (not my choice). My H (knock on wood) has really been putting forth an effort lately. I am actually whisking him away to a plush hotel and dinner for Valentines Day. Good luck and just contiune to think and make decisions with your head not your heart(or other parts). :):) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 2:35pm
Well I'll be the first MM. I was beginning to get to know a MW we were exchanging emails for almost two months. We have never met in person but we did let each other know what we intended to do in our first meeting (she was moving closer to me). I'll admit at first it was only about sex or was going to be about sex. But through our many conversations I developed feelings for and let her know that I am falling in love with her.

Unfortuanatly she told me today that to avoid any pain in the future she wanted to end things between us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 3:14pm
I'm so sorry to hear about that. Sounds like she was the one in it for sex, not emotions. I had made up my mind after some painful experiences in the past, that I would never let anyone get close to me again emotionally, but that doesn't seem to be working. We've been having to work together over the past few weeks (he's my client & if you want the whole long story, you can see my previous string.). He's everything I don't need or want, but the conversations has been what's gotten to me. It always seems that us MW are the ones who fall in love and get emotionally involved, but I guess the "sex only" really does go for both sides sometimes.

As someone who previously engaged in online only ema's, I can tell you it's easier to fantasize about a life, than to actually have one in living color. To actually meet in person brings on a whole new aspect of touching, holding, and increasing the chances of getting caught. To hear any kind of "this is real" talk, can be very scary if you're (not you, but her in this case) not really ready to jump into it. It's strange because today I keep feeling like any minute I'm going to get an email calling off our "date" tomorrow, and any future ones.

I appreciate your input very much and hope the hurt doesn't stay long.

(innc2)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 5:05pm
Aww, Mike, I'm really sorry about that, and I hope you feel better soon.