Question for Single OW on Valentines DAY

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Question for Single OW on Valentines DAY
12
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:16pm
So like myself, how many of you single OW in this A with MM spent Valentines Day alone? How many of you got a special card? Got flowers, how about a phone call?? How did you deal with knowing he was romancing his W? Mine claims he was alone with his 2 kids, yeah right, he did call me numerous times, but everytime I called him how conveneient he did not pick up. Bad enough he is M but then he acts like am stupid enough to believe that he is not with his wife on Valentines Day. Oh yea I got my PAYOFF, he came over got a piece and left money for me to get something, I would have rather had HIS company on the special day then his money that made me feel like a whore, but I suppose it was better than nothing. I will notbe alone next Valentines Day while he with spoiling his wife this one really made me realize how unimportant I am!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:22pm
I celebrated V-day with my MM the weekend before Valentine's, but it was still lonely when the official day came and went. I thought about him all day and was down in the dumps because of it. I didn't ask what plans he and the W had because I didn't really want to know - I'd rather pretend that he was miserable without me. Who knows? Maybe he was.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 12:59pm
I am the single OW . I didn't really expect anything from my MM on V-day . Our R is still new , ( 4 months only seen each other 4 times ) we aren't exactly in love , I would say more in lust ;-)

Although yes it probably would be nice to get a phone call or email - Happy V-day that is all . Maybe he couldn't call because he was with W , but I know he is on computer at least

twice a day . He can shoot an email .

It would have been nice if I could have spent V-day ( or any other day ) with him .but he is married and I know he spends it with W . When we next talk of course I will be asking him - "So did you have a nice V-day"

will he lie to me ? I don't know . I asked him after his B-day and New Years Eve if the W gave him some holiday sex . He said no ......but he did tell me about two other times they did have sex . So I think he isn't lying to me about it .but who knows .

Does it upset me to think he had sex with W ? Not really , well after all it is his W.

I know the sex with her is boring and there isn't the passion we have , so that makes me feel better. I hope at least maybe he was fantasizing about me when with her

At the moment I am more upset he didn't call or email me to wish me Happy Birthday which was yesterday . I don't want presents or flowers all I wanted was to hear his voice for a minute ......and he knows how happy I am when I hear his voice .

He probably won't even contact me unless I email him ..... what's up haven't heard from you everything ok ??

*sigh* I wish I had the strength to tell him , You know what, go F**k yourself .

I don't know maybe he is trying to fight the feelings he has for me . Maybe he is feeling guilty about being unfaithful to his wife . Maybe he is trying not to get to attached to me ......but whatever it is it really sucks . I wish he would just say to me - You know what I am trying to be a better husband so this A is over . It would make it easier for me to forget him because I am the type if someone doesn't want me , I don't want them either .

But when he says he wants me , it is hard to say no , because I do really want him .

Wish I could find a single guy that makes me feel like MM does ....... I am looking

It just seems like all the good ones are married or gay ;-)

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 2:54pm
Hi Diva, you sound so sad!! It is a shame for you being single to have to put up with this crap!! But unfortunately, that is the nature of the game, everything you said.

You deserve someone to devote themselves to you and I hope you find that person! Take care,

Dusty

xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 3:44pm
Yes I am sad ;-( But long ago I learned in life you will have ups and downs , happy times and sad times ..... I guess it is time to be sad . Maybe it is a good thing because when I am in pain I seem to write better music .......so at least there is an upside to my sadness ;-)


I have guys that would love to devote their time to me . They would treat me like a queen .......... problem is I have no passion for them . and passion isn't something that grows on me . Or it is there from the beginning or it isn't . I could not live with out that passion . Damm why did that passion have to be with a MM ??

I wish I could explain it, can anyone explain it ??

Thanks for your support .

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:06pm
Hi Viper,

I'm with you since I'm the single OW. I know what it would be like to get into an A with a MM and all the sacrifices. I make sure that my MM knows the pain I go thru and make up for it when we have time together.

Like you,I can't have passion grow on me if I don't click with someone. I just have to take this A one day at a time and gets busy if I find myself feeling down.

Keep your spirits up !! The only way to make the A worthwhile is to play even. Although we can't always tell if MM is telling the truth, time will tell if they are a talker or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 4:33pm

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Edited 6/15/2009 12:25 pm ET by opal_fire
Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 6:44pm
Single OW here!!

Yup, i was a bit down on Vday, although equally over my upcoming Divorce (i am seperated) than over MM. Tried to keep busy, and chatted with my MM online. Was recovering from being pretty sick. Went and got myself some chinese for a late dinner. Nothing exciting!!

He made it "up" to me that he wasn't with me on Vday by spending *all* day Sunday with me and going to a special event downtown. it was great!!! i often find that having some extra time on the day right around the holiday is really helpful.

Oh, that kickin' gift he got me helped too hehe!!!!

:)

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 7:00pm
Mine promised next weekend when my kids are with their dad we will make up for it, I am holding him to it we shall see!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 9:38pm
Hey Viper... honey, I'm going through these same things too -- and I'm a MW. But I just crave MM's company -- even if it's just a phone call. Maybe it's because we're new to this and we haven't picked up the rhythm yet. You think? Hang in there. Sending a hug your way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 10:18pm
I don't think it is because it is new . I will always crave to hear his voice , smell his smell , touch his body ......well you get the picture ;-)

The day I don't , I probably won't want to be with him anymore .

Thanks for your hugs , you are so sweet . Hugs back to you .

xoxo ViperDiva

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