Questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Questions
5
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 1:49pm
Hey all I am hoping to get some help. I’ve been lurking and I hope I have the lingo right. I’m a MM involved with a MW (we are both married). We have known each other a long time; we have always been good friends. About 3 years ago she came back into my life, she was going through a tough time, and I was there for her. We became closer and closer with each passing day, until she finally told me she had strong feelings for me. I was by that time already in love with her. I was not looking forward to losing her. In the past our paths would cross but only for a short time. This time I could not let her slip away. I knew it went against everything she believed in to have an A, but some how we started one. It was like living a dream, she was/is everything I want and need. I have been strong and telling her everything is going to be all right, we’ll get through this. We will be together.

It’s what she wanted, it is what I want.

She has been so good to me, I’ve been through a lot with the W and all, she stood right there with me, Showed amazing strength, for me when my daughter was sick, cheered on me on when I quit my job, and supported me in entering a new field (which I always wanted to do). She was always a ray of sunshine in my life!! She once told me that even if this is all we ever had, she would settle for just this much!! Now it seems something has changed, for her. I love her more today, I cannot imagine one day with out her, but I feel her pulling away, she rarely calls, her emails are short, and every time we make arrangements to see each other something comes up.

I want to discuss things with her, but I also want to reassure her that I still have the same goals I had 3 years ago, but I don’t want to come off as whiny or lame… (we are suppose to meet this afternoon)

Do you ladies ever just want a break?

Or am I about to lose her??

Will I sound insecure if I bring this up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
In reply to: spencer442
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 2:30pm
Hello there,

oh i have to say your words warmed my heart. I am single, invovled with MM, be are however just friends right now on the surface, despite of what language our hearts may speak, all those ten million words eyes don't speak.Anyway so I am the OW, and one thing I just know what you wrote I wish you would write down for her.

How she was and is your ray of sunshine. LEt he know ! Please

and from then on give her maybe just some space which he may be needing right now, for whatever reason, but I it does not mean her feelings for you are less...most likely considering your circumstances the opposite.

Hope this was of some help !!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: spencer442
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 2:39pm

hi spencer and welcome to the board, honey!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: spencer442
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 2:43pm
I agree with gurl. I know with my R with OM we have periodically stopped communication for one reason or another, but then we come back together stronger and more excited about one another. Keep communication open and ask. Let us know what she says!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
In reply to: spencer442
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:03pm
Ladies,

Thank you all very much, I know things at work have really picked up for her, and I do know that things at home get really tuff on her at times. She is an amazing woman, she has handled this A with Style (haha). Your right gurl with any R it has up's and down's, it just that she has always kept our R so positive, and fun that I miss that spark in her voice when I call her, or I miss the little sinps she always adds at the end of her email (the ones about snuggling up under the blanket with her). Any way I going to just ask her, I'm sure I've been worring over nothing.

thanks again,

I think I'll hang around if you all dont mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: spencer442
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 3:12pm

spencer, please do hang around.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board