Questions of curiosity...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Questions of curiosity...
7
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 6:01pm

How many of you are in an A where you KNOW you will not end up together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 7:07pm

>>>"Knowing he won't be w/me, but also that I don't really approve of abortion? He's always said that he wants kids so badly, but not "this way". Ok, I understand that. So I leave my hubby (or he leaves me), then I have nothing but this child... "<<<

Then you have your answer. You'll probably end up with no man but many children.....

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 7:18pm
In this day and age, you can't really just "end up pregnant" if you are responsibly taking precautions. Yes, not all birth control works 100% of the time but there are some pretty dam# good ones in the high 90% range. Don't get lax about B/C hoping to force his hand or anything. Like goddess says, you'll end up alone with many children.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2007
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 7:55pm

I really hope your not thinking about getting pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 9:55am

edited for privacy




Edited 10/23/2008 8:58 am ET by goddess_edwina
Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 2:12pm

I can't really say I KNOW we won't end up together because I'm one of those people who always has this hope and optimism that somehow things will workout in the end and the two people who really love each other will be together.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 5:35pm

Oh umwow, I wish I knew. I am totally in love with my AP/BF...we've been together over a year now...my 25 year M ended because of it and I really did think it was going to be a "fling" if you will. But here we are, as I said, over a year later and things are more intense than they ever have been. He's "sort of" mentioned, much earlier on in our R, that he was "working on it" and by it I thought he meant ending his M too. However, all these many months later, his living/M situation has not changed and we are together more than ever.

We just had a huge fight and I thought, this is it...we are done. Well, we're not done and I am just going to take what I can get. And I honestly think (know) that I get far more than his W does...he spends about 75% of his time with me, how can I complain? I am very lucky (and I've mentioned that so is he!) that I have had a hysterectomy and can't possibly get pg...I am not his first affair and I know he's been with younger women who can get pg, I think that he's been extremely lucky in that regard. To be honest, I have no idea how he would have reacted if one of these girls had come to him and told him they were pg...his children are as mine...grown and out of the house (and in my case, had a child already).

So, this probably didn't answer anything except for the fact that he's given me no promises, but I know he's very emotionally attached to me so maybe that will happen with you...maybe the more time you get to spend together, the more his feelings may change and deepen. Men are very strange creatures though, KWIM? They are just very difficult to figure out!

Hope it turns out okay for you.

benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 9:12pm

hey umwow...i am not sure if we'll ever end up together..if somehow his relationship with his "W" dissolves then i will definately take my opportunity..as long as the breakup is not because of me...i will contend that i never set out to steal him and would not want to be the reason he dissolves his family...that's too heavy a burden and load for me to carry..he would have to end things because he wants to end things..because he and the "W" can no longer co-exist with one another..or because they've moved into seperate directions where their lives are no longer complimentary to one another..i love my ap dearly and have grown to love him more..i am also very much in love with him...i had my tubes tied...so i am not getting pregnant at all..just had it done..so i hope a baby isn't in there...and i didn't know...lol (laugh it was a joke)


please dont try and trap him and think that a child will strengthen your bond with him..all "A"'s are different...feel me some are just sex, some just emotions, some are total relationships and peoples souls are brought together by some force of nature and the emotions run and the sex is awesome..you gotta figure out your place in his life...all men are different just like all women..and they aren't all DOGS..not even some of the ones that have these "A's" you get me...some A's are very real relationships..i know mine is one of those it's not just physical..as a matter of fact the last time we were together when i was buzzed up..we didn't do anything..we just hung with my son got him together for his formal, went to the restaurant, then back and watched tv...and that's when the big bang/explosion (just call me TNT) came....but we'll work it out...we always do..


sidebar***when a man tells you he will not be with you because you have kids...you KICK HIS A$$ to the curb..."A" or non "A"..that's just ignorant as all get out...wtf is that to say to someone????????? that's ridiculous..okayyyy that would turn me off from him..he's screwing you right??? okay then..he accepts your kids when yall do da nAsTY.....uhmm let me at em..let me at em...


see i get really really really uptight about that because AP is very involved with my DS....and they are so tight..so fun to be around and so great together..my son admires and respects AP and yes he knows it's an AP and he knows he's "M"...but my son sees what i see...a good person in our lives..someone who makes his momma smile just by looking at her..someone who has in the past year never given him a bit of bad advice...besides what man takes your teenaged son for a sit down and tells them he loves their mother very much and would do anything in this world for her..regardless of whether our relationship falters or not..and my son told me about that talk.....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss