Questions stuck in my head

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Questions stuck in my head
7
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 4:16pm
I haven't posted on here in a while. Still have the same questions in my head as always, they just don't go away. At beginning of relationship with MM he would talk really flattering, complimentary all the time, date-like. Of course after time (2 years) that's pretty cut down, I guess the same in a "normal" relationship does. Occasionally he says the really nice things, just not alot. I know we got into this for the sex, but I always wonder if he does have SOME feelings for me, just a smidgeon maybe?

For one thing, he has to cross the border into another country to visit me, and he does that usually every week when we can. If it was purely for sex, he could find someone closer to him right? And he is a very thoughtful lover, always wanting to make sure I am totally satisfied or else he's not.

Guess I'm on a fishing expedition here, although I have no expectations of him, I read alot on here about the men only wanting women for sex, but is that really true? Would appreciate opinions on this.


xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 11:38pm
I met a man in a bar recently and his opinion was that men have affairs for sex, while women have sex to have an affair. He was trying to pick me up. I told him I am married and I have a significant other and that the two men in my life is quite enough. Thus, he decided to give me his thoughts on affairs. He said women have affairs, men have sex.

I have actually heard the same opinion from my H. I do think it is easier for men to leave their emotions out of their affair. My H actually told me recently that men can have sex without it being emotional.

Dusty, your MM probably does really care for you. You may have to look for his signs of love closely and realize that these little signs are his way of telling you that he cares deeply for you.

I, too, am always looking for that reassurance from my MM. He won't say the "L" word, but he shows it in a lot of ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:12pm
hey dusty, quit being all up in your head! if you have a man who crosses borders and makes sure you're satisfied and he's been doing it consistently for over 2 years, of course, he cares about you, probably way more than you'll ever know. most men (my MM included) will only talk about their feelings for you when threatened with dire consequences to them!

"actions speak louder than words" although it's nice to hear the words too!

gurl

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:21pm
LOL! I think it's great that you told him you were M and had a SG...... My kinda Girl:) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:29pm
I know you are right about that!! What's wrong with my head. But had a really great afternoon with him today, I definitely was given the royal treatment today!! I guess actions do really speak louder than words. Because Lord knows, my H says he loves me, but he NEVER does the things that MM can do for me!!
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:35pm
yeah, girl, i liked that too!

gurl




Edited 2/18/2004 12:18:42 PM ET by gurlfriend50
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:37pm
i know! wouldn't you love to be able to smush H and MM together to get everything into one man!! would make life easier and much more interesting, don't ya think!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 3:51pm
Sure would like a combination of both men!! So MM was saying how busy the border was today, and I was thinking "if he really didn't have any feelings for me, he wouldn't be bothered with all that, he would just find someone around his own town". Because he owns a large company and has lots of responsibilities there, really for him to be able to take several hours out of his hectic work day to drive here and devote to me, is alot. So I did feel alot better after seeing your words and having him in person. Aahh, now I have something to daydream about for the next 2 weeks ...
xxxx