Quetion for everyone?
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Quetion for everyone?
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:48am |
I know my situation and I can't understand and make sense of my own rationalizations. Just a little personal survey to see if others feel as I do
Would you leave your H/W to be with your MM?
I don't know that I would for the mere fact that this is my second marriage and I don't want to go through another divorce. I have 3 children (2 from ex). I love my H in this ackward way but I am not sure that I ever really was inlove with him, my family was. I feel like I am in love with my MM. I want to spend every moment with MM and I see him alot more then most. I see MM about 3 to 4 times a week for 3 to 4 hours at a time. Funny thing is I do not work and am able to still do this.
Missy

If I was to get married again, I know now what to look for and what not to look for. I rushed into this marriage and wouldn't rush it again.
chrissluver
Besides, I sure don't want another marriage. BTDT.
But, if I did ever leave, it would be simply to be FREE. I would NOT get into a relationship or marriage, and I would NOT leave my marriage for MM (nor do I suspect he'd leave for me). I wouldn't want an exclusive relationship with MM even if we both were in the position to do so. He isn't my idea of what I need or want for long-term commitment.
But he makes me happy with what we have and I believe I do the same for him, so that's where we'll stick.
Good question!
KC
"I wasn't happy before mm came along and I wouldn't even want to be with mm. I wouldn't trust him and he probably wouldn't trust me considering we're having affairs and we're both married."
If this is true, why should anyone ever trust you? Anyone you love enough to end up in a R with will probably find out you have been unfaithful in the past. At that point, would you expect them all to leave? I think the most important thing is trusting yourself. I know for a fact I will never be unfaithful again. I got married for the wrong reasons and had A's for the same wrong reasons. I'm doing things the right way now. And that includes building a R with someone I love and who loves me. She trusts me despite all my past indiscretions. And she should trust me because I will never hurt her or myself that way.
I'm not rushing into marriage either. But I certainly hope to be married to IS one day. And that marriage will be based on communication, shared values and love. And I think that it is just plain wrong to suggest that people who have had affairs couldn't trust each other.
Yes, I think that I would leave H for MM. My marriage has been over for a very long time. H and I have been through so much, we have been married 23 years and have 3 beautiful children. We started out very rocky, H told me about 3 months after we were married that he would never love me like he did this girl he loved in 8th grade!!!! Of course I had just turned 18 and the thoughts of getting our marriage annuled or even getting a divorce were out of the question for me. I can still remember how hurt and humiliated I was but for everyone to know he didn't love me, would have been worse. I never told anyone, I just tried for years to please him and show him that I was more wonderful than this other person could ever have been to him. Well, H was paying attention to what I was trying to do, he was too busy having numerous A's. Now, he says that I am the love of his life, but it is too little too late. We got married and he never quit dating!!!
I hope that one day, if things change, MM and I can be together. He got married because his W was pregnant. I don't think there has ever been any real love there. So, maybe the cards will play out where we can eventually be together. If he ever finds himself single (he has 2 very small children and mine are older) I will leave H in the dust!!!!!!
Kitty
dd
Edited 5/20/2004 4:40 pm ET ET by privatelife
In revelance to the ?, no I would not marry my MM. (Although in la la land I would love to think that we could be married and work out!) I don't think that he would actually marry me either. Not that there isn't love and TOTAL CHEMISTRY, but I would always have that 3rd eye looking over his shoulder. I'm sure he would have the same with me too!
Jen