Raindrops keep falling on my head......
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Raindrops keep falling on my head......
| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 1:35pm |
In my pitiful attempt at humor, I'm addressing this to Rain. All others, please feel free to chime in.
Rain,
Your posts (drops) are so very thoughtful and caring. I just wanted to take the time to say thank-you and that I hope you and OW are getting back on track. You've been on my heart, lately. I see the turmoil and confusion you're going through, but somehow you've managed to continue to give of yourself - to W, OW, and all of us. You set a high bar by your example, and I wanted you to know that we're appreciative.
How are _you_ doing? Are things beginning to shake out into something more reasonable? Did you talk with OW? I hope that they are. I'd love to see your relationship blossom into everything you've dreamed of sharing.
Let us know...and if I can ever do anything, including just listening, you know my email.
Cazrida

The weekend was a little strange but mostly good. I went camping with the OW and her daughter as she wanted, though I only helped set up Friday and left to uphold the plans I made before she announced intentions to go. It was really hard to tell her that I wouldn't change my plans, but I showed up Saturday as I promised and we stayed until Sunday afternoon, having a great time.
In the end I do think she respected my position -- that I wouldn't cancel previous plans with her to do something with friends on the spur of the moment, so I didn't think it appropriate that she ask me to do that in reverse. To be honest, I think she was testing me a little to see if I'd get upset, cave in to her, or what would happen. Last week I got a little impatient with her and the only time I've ever heard her whine, but in the end, it was just fine, she admitted to pushing and I guess now she feels like any plans she and I make are firm except in the face of extraordinary circumstances.
Saturday was very fun, though Saturday night my cell phone went off; the W was calling, presumably just to talk since she thought I was driving out of town that day and wanted to see if I was back yet. She called back from her cell about ten minutes later, so I got up and called her back, only to find out she was cruising my apartment to see if I was home on the basis that she was worried about me. Then she was angry that I was "screening my calls" and only called back after she called on her cell, so I called her bluff and told her she was only driving by my apartment to see if I was home and not answering. That particular debate ended in a draw. All things considered, the OW handled that very graciously, saying she understood that the W probably missed me and wasn't ready for me to be having a happy life. In all, we really had a weekend with a lot of closeness.
Sunday I went to the house and had a long talk with the W. I told her I just don't see any way to reconcile and she really needs to understand that. We talked for a while and as usual she seemed to grudgingly make some progress towards acceptance. But I expect she'll bounce back a few more times because she just doesn't want to deal with it. She'll get there, it just takes a lot of repeating I suppose. She's very consistent about not wanting to make me angry and have me hate her/stop talking to her, so I just need to convince her to abide my decision. I am still convinced that in the end we could be good friends, but I don't think that will come easily or soon.
It's tiring, but I'm determined to do all of this as right as I can. I've certainly done enough wrong; turning this downward spiral around has certainly proven to be a job.
Thanks for asking, Caz. Take care of yourself, and let us know how things are. You're one of the people I always check for posts from to see how you are doing, and you know you can email me at that work address as well is something comes up.
rain