Ramblings, that's all. Just ramblings :-)

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Ramblings, that's all. Just ramblings :-)
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 9:23pm


Hello everyone,

I know I haven't posted for a while...except of course for last week.

You know, this R has got to be the weirdest thing I've ever been involved in. The first couple of years, as you're all aware, were awfully up and down...I was in tears often. But now, it sort of just feels like old hat. If it wasn't for that other woman over there, I could almost think of US as the old married couple. 

Something happened this morning that I just can't stop thinking about. Although it means absolutely nothing one way or another. AP sent me a text this morning...he said, and I quote: "New member of the fam yesterday" and a picture of a very cute newborn. He's told me many stories about his family, so I guess it isn't surprising that he would want to tell me about this event. However, I couldn't help but wonder if he called his W (first thing in the morning) to inform her as well. He's made me feel like I'm part of "his" family, and that I was the first one he thought about to tell. Damn him. 

What I find really rich, is something that happened last weekend. I can't remember if I ever mentioned this before, but back at the beginning of this thing, I was told that my h (now ex) had been going to the bar and telling everyone that I was frigid (jokes on him, 'cause I guess I was...only with just him!). Anyhow, AP/BF says to me this weekend (after I'd asked if he was coming home with me for one more get together before leaving to go back to work) sometimes I think you don't want to have sex with me! If I had a gun at that moment, I swear to god I would dearly have loved to put one right between his eyes. Wow, did that ever hurt. What I should have told him was: I'm sorry dear, no I don't want to have sex with you 5 TIMES A FRIKKEN DAY! Are you kidding me? I have had more sex with this man than I've had in my entire life...and I'm 50! 

I heard something today that sounded odd, yet true. It went something like this: If hubby & I didn't fight, we would have nothing to talk about! I really hope it ain't so :-(

Thx for listening,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 11:19pm
Hi Benska, perhaps why AP made that comment was he's beginning to doubt his desirability factor for you? We women have insecurities but lets not forget men are human too. They will have self-doubt moments and sometimes words escape the mouth before the brain can process it. I know it's a tough advice to follow (I myself always forget), but sometimes we need to be less sensitive. If he makes such a remark in the future, instead of getting all flustered, laugh it off and make a joke out of it or something? When early on the relationship we are always busy making excuses for our APs. Perhaps when it comes to small matters like this it's ok to dismiss it as a faux pas on his part? Don't feel so down. We're all only human. As long as there is communication the worst storms can be weathered :smileyhappy:
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 10:42am

I think it's kind of tacky that he would send you a text with a photo personally.  I mean, he's putting you in a position where you're almost part of his family, thrusting information and photos up you, and yet expecting you to keep a certain distance.  I'd feel like an elastic band with a relationship like that, brought in close only to be pushed back.  I wonder now that you're single, have you tried dating?  Don't get me wrong, I can see the appeal of an affair in some ways when you're single, but this AP sounds like he's driving you nuts sometimes is all...

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:06pm
We tell ourselves we have no expectations, but we expect something. Satisfaction, desirability, attention. I wish I was the center of ap's world. But I know it isn't going to happen. So I make the most out of what little ap gives me.
Hope it looks up for you soon.


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