Realizations
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| Wed, 04-28-2010 - 2:15pm |
I don't post often but I have received advice from all of you here before. I've had mostly an EA going with the same man for 12 years. It's been physical a few times but mostly just EA. Lately he's been telling me that I'm the only person that he feels comfortable talking to. He has a high stress job and works long hours so alot of the time I'll go to his office and see him when everyone else leaves. 2 weeks ago he was contacted on FB by an ex who told him that one of her 4 kids is his. He has another kid whom I'm not supposed to know about as well. He sent me a friend request on FB and I accepted it and have since found out some info that he doesn't know that I know. What have I found out?
Lies:
- He's been lying to me about his age. He told me he was born in 1975 but his FB profile states 1972.
- When we met 12 years ago he told me that he was living with his girlfriend. FB shows that this woman was his wife then but ex-wife now.
- Ex-wife's FB profile shows that she has a son with his last name (the kid who I'm not supposed to know about)
I've always been under the impression, due to insecurities, that I'm not hot enough for him and that's why he's never wanted a real relationship with me. FB pics of ex-wife and ex who recently contacted him are of girls who aren't that cute. In fact I feel I'm cuter. AP claims that current girlfriend looks like a certain deceased actress but I now highly doubt that seeing as how his exes are nothing to write home about.
My question is:
He's been lying to me our whole relationship so why do I still want anything to do with him? What's wrong with me?! I've put him up on a pedestal for the whole 12 years we've been involved and he doesn't even deserve it! Do I confront him about these FB realizations or do I just let them go?

I know this is harsh advice, but I would just let him go. If you caught him in these lies, there are probably numerous others you haven't caught!
If it was a couple of harmless things (lots of people fudge about age, weight, etc. a little anyway) that's one thing but he's lied about major things - like having a child? This is someone you've known for 12 years!
I don't know about confronting him - my guess is he'll come up with reasons/excuses and before you know it you'll believe him (good liars can do that). I would block him from all forms of communication and let him go. But, that's SO easy for me to type here in my bedroom... It's up to you sweetie, but this guy really almost scares me.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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