really down!
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really down!
| Sun, 08-31-2003 - 5:10pm |
hey ya all - I'm having a rather hard day with it being a holiday weekend and knowing MM is with his family and I can't see him (I've even tried calling him - that's how bad I'm doing! :( )
Been thinking that I am not cut out for this A stuff! :( Thoughts of NEVER getting to experience a life with him and knowing that I am an "extra" in his life hurt beyond words! And yet I fear I don't have the strength to walk away and so I resign to just hurt! :(
UGH - this weekend is really taking a toll on me! HOpe you all are doing better than me!
hugs,
K

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I'm having a tough time too. I know he's with his family and I'm home alone...which is absolutely no fun! I made plans for my whole weekend to make sure I didn't find myself in this situation, but I've canceled because I don't want to do anything else but be with him! SAD huh? I think it's because I'm axcious about talking to him about our A to figure out where it's going and what he wants, so I can't stop thinking about it.
I think you and I should both get outside and go for a walk to get them out of our minds. We owe it to ourselves!
Hang in there and keep your chin up. Find something you can do to keep your mind off of him.
Me...I'm going shopping!!
~Sher
Sher's advice is right on target...you need to fill your time with something YOU like and YOU want to do and YOU want to accomplish. I try to do that because I figure I'll be a much more satisfying companion if I have interests outside of our relationship. That's what I keep telling myself the umpteen millionth time I've checked email on the weekend in the outside chance he got online!!! lol Actually, I'm doing much better. I leave one, maybe two, emails for him to find in his inbox on Monday morning and that's all. Way down from the half dozen or more I used to leave!!!!!
Good luck getting through this weekend!!
Lucky
Hugs
RH
I wish I had something to tell you to make you feel
better. You are getting good advice though. Go do
something for yourself this weekend, the more
radical the better!
I would suggest that you not do a few things (these
always help me). Don't listen to "your" songs, or any
love songs for that matter. Don't stay home, try not
to be alone. Don't go over photos of your other. Keep
the drinking light.
Go to a movie if you must, something to engage and
distract your mind. Find a play to go to, or a concert.
Visit someplace you have wanted to go, or just pick out
a spot and go there. The challenge of finding your way
in a new place will keep your thoughts less moody.
Find a party to crash!
Good luck, all things eventually pass.
hugs,
G
After reading all the posts before mine.. I have a question, when you and your MM have NC on weekends does that mean NO messages, NO surprise phone calls? my MM and I have a pager (it's just voice mail, no real pager) where we leave each other messages, we both have the code, so we know when we have a message or when we've picked up our messages, that way even if MM can't leave me a message I know he's thinking of me cuz he's picked up his messages. my MM goes out of town with his family a lot!!!! They just bought an RV so now they'll go out of town more often, but I'm dealing with it better because I know if I waste the time and energy on wondering what he's doing, thats all i'm doing, wasting time, cuz as soon as I see him, I realize I shouldn't of worried and he loves me and all that. MM tells me that I get the best of him, and I think I do.
Sometimes I'll even call my MM on his cell (while he's with his W) and I'll ask for Brad Pitt, and he'll say wrong number.. and I'll say I love you bye. He does the same to me, but he asks for Britney Spears... LOL my H and his W can't say nothin about a wrong #!
I just don't understand why you and your MM have NC at all? If that's not the way you want it, sometimes I understand if my MM can't get to a phone, but for the most part we are always in touch.
=)
It's nice because even if he can't leave me a message, I'll know he's thinking of me cuz he's got my messages... ya know???
=)
Sorry you are down in the dip right now. When I'm down, I usually wonder if I should end it, too. Funny thing is, when I'm feeling better emotionally, it's not an option.
I hope you have something planned for Monday. If not, get busy!
Sending you some hugs,
Meow
Good luck and happy thoughts,
Dee
I was refering to having NC outside of work hours on Sa and Sun. On Wednesdays, even after work, we talk on the phone and email. I miss our email and phone calls, because that's where a lot of our really personal, bonding discussions come into play. At work, we're usually either pretty business like or pretty smutty (depending on if the guy in the next office is in or not, lol) talking. Our alone time occurs during and/or after work and there just isn't always enough time to fool around AND talk, so guess which one we DON'T do, lol!!! So I like our emails and phone calls for the chance to get to know each other better.
But, to try to answer your question more directly, his g/f wants to spend every possible minute with him on the weekends, because they work opposite shifts (he works overnight hours, she works traditional 9-5) and so don't see each other much except afternoons on Sa and Sun and then again on Mon nights. Otherwise, one or the other of them is working or sleeping. So, for him to spend an hour on the computer with me really cuts into their time. I can respect that. It can be hard, but I respect that and won't get in the way of that.
Hope that answers your question.
Lucky
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