This is really getting on my last nerve!
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| Sun, 07-25-2010 - 8:53pm |
Ok People ...
Does it not get anyone else here annoyed that it seems MAS is open house? I respect BSS and EAS are safe spaces for women experiencing a set of circumstances for which they require a safe space and while I would LOVE to chip in occassionally to offer a different perspective I respect that it is not appropriate for me to do so. So when something is said over there that makes my blood boil, or that grates on my very last nerve, or is generalising about motivations and outcomes of A's and so on and so on ...I take a deep breath and move on. They are not debate boards. MAS is also not a debate board. I take it we are not seen to deserve the same safe space to vent and discuss our situations without trolls, guouls, idiots and downright nasty people feeling like they just HAVE to save us from ourselves? I take it that's because we are OW and OM and OF COURSE!!! ....we should be wearing the scarlet letter, if and when allowed out in public, and take any and all abuse thrown at us until we learn the error of our ways. Of course ...tut tut ...I forgot my place.
FFS what century are we in?! Infidelity has been rife since marriage and the concept of fidelity were invented! (By male dominated societies may I add in order to keep their chattels ... women ...under control and away from other predators ...men)
If MAS is a safe space then why are these attacks tolerated by us collectively? Can we not all concurrently press 'ignore' on brfl2009 and other trolls? Now wouldn't that be fun!
Ready ....1 .....2 .....3! .....press!!
Now ...back to the stuff I came here for ...
Hello all ...how's Affairland treating you today?
Bird

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Edited 7/26/2010 2:42 pm ET by brfl2009
I think I may have to disagree Nevereasy, about deeper levels of pain on other boards ...I think it's relative to each individual and I've seen some pretty horrific levels of pain on this board recently and over the years.
My issue isn't with anything specific any poster has said, I'm perfectly capable of ignoring posters and letting disruptive comments go over my head. On a personal level I don't allow them to bother me. If someone who is not interested enough to take the time to get to know me wants to judge me for the choices I make, ...well ...nothing I can say will stop them. I really have no time or energy for debates about my perceived failings, weaknesses or alleged lack of morals with anyone who's motives seem to be rooted in the desire to primarily disrupt, provoke or attack. On any board. I do take more offence when I see other posters seemingly attacked in this way but I rarely join in on a defensive level as I believe it is often more unhelpful to the original poster.
What irritates me is that this board seems to be 'open house' while posters here are berated for posting on BSS and EAS. I agree 100% that it is rarely helpful to invade a safe space. Dealing with intense emotional pain alone is isolating and compounds every tiny issue into shards of glass which then bore themselves into hearts and minds relentlessly. **Intense emotional pain** feels like this, it is not the cause of it that makes it so but the experience of feeling it and the journey through it.
I guess my point is excactly what you said Nevereasy. It is widely seen as the pain here is *less* than on other boards, and so by default, invading our safe space and being less than sensitive shall we say, is therefore more acceptable, less invasive, less damaging, less consequential, less compounding of the issues.
In my personal opinion, it is not. On all counts.
Bird
My beautiful ladies on MAS,
No one is in a position to JUDGE us whether we are in an affair or not. Everyone has there faults and if they don't like us for what we are and do then they need not read and lurk on this board. We are not horrible people, we all don't make the best choices in life but that is life. We all have lessons that we have to learn and for all of us being in an affair this
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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LOL ;-) ...too right Lexi !
I think I may have to agree, Bird :-)..
I think, the real and sincere pain here is mostly seen as "you made your bed, now sleep/burn in it" vs the pain of "my partner of many years failed me and my children".. though we know that, past the obvious shared deceit the A is based on, most here expect and experience a level of openness in their A that is not experienced in real life Rs. But, that openness is not something the BS can relate to, at all. I think of, I apologize for the geeky reference here, of Spock telling McCoy that he has to have a full (not near) death experience to understand how it is to die, after the doc asks of the experience Spock had.. so, walking in someone's shoes really applies to the AP and BS sides of the coin.. some here are actually both and can relate to it.. but most are the opposite sides of the same coin, as it were..
So, at the end, as unjustified as it is that the members of this board are held to a lesser standard (children of a lesser God ?), I believe it is more of a case of just the nature of these matters than a chosen maliciousness of a BS.
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