Really need help/advice
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Really need help/advice
| Fri, 08-06-2010 - 11:05pm |
Brief background( again!) I am MW 3 mos. into A with MM We met VERY briefly about a year or so ago and re-acquainted 3 mos ago and he told me he had a crush on me for over a year since he first met me.

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if he wants to contact you ,he will. If he isnt that into you, he wont.
I can absolutely see where anyone would get the impression that he isn't into me. But i am not so sure I can come to that conclusion just yet based on the way he did pursue me so much in the beginning, he also did tell me a few mos. ago that he won't be able to see me as much during the summer because of the children's schedules,
mm here.. in a 2 yr A..
I agree with the other posters.. but it may not be as simple as "he's not that into you"..
I would, though, suggest that you move on.
I really appreciate both your perspective as a man and your approach in your repsonse to me, for that thank you.
I understand what you're saying; it doesn't really matter why he is where he is at with this and with me, either way he isn't meeting my A needs.
I see where you are coming from new.. there is a fine line between sharing a R and being needy.. when both people enjoy sharing, it is quite fun.. when one is at a different place than the other, it looks like neediness.. and i think that's the last thing you would want him to look at you as..
one option is to do nothing at all.. really.. just let it go.. he gets to you when he does.. he explains things when he does.. you see him/communicate with him when he initiates it.. let him carry the load a bit.. you may not end the R, but put yourself at a place where you are not invested as much anymore.. and what do you do with your free time.. well, whatever you'd like to do!.. it's your time, not his..
i think, whatever you end up doing, letting him take the lead in this, and making a focused effort to minimize your efforts, without telling him about anything, just letting events etc taking its course, will let you see where things really stand.. at least in the long run..
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new2a1 ,I dont think you should take it as a rejection as there could be many other factors why he isn't able to meet your needs in A as much as you want .
I think for the time being you should just be neutral & let him be the one to contact you if he wants to continue the A .
best of luck
Thank you so much, I appreciate your response.
Yes, new.. you understand exactly what i said.. easier said than done, i know, but you'll be at a better place for trying..
very interesting story about your birth sister.. brings meaning to the phrase "everything happens for a reason"..
good luck and do let us know how things are going..
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