Remember you signed up for this when you entered into the A. I think you may be panicking because of separation anxiety. He has a family and he is probably enjoying the other part of his life. Remember that being in an A one has to lead a double life and act as normal as possible in order to not ruin what he has at home. If he and his W are on vacation they are probably enjoying each other and relaxing and doing what they should be doing- focusing on each other. Of course he is not going to tell you this. Remember that you are a supplement to his life not the main course. His family/W comes first and unless the two of you want to end the fantasy and make a real R happen with each other it is just part of what you have to accept when you are in an A. It's her time now, yours will come. Either relax and enjoy your own family like he is doing or get out because you can't handle it. Again, it's her turn but rest assured he will come calling to you and then you
Sorry to say but you definitely seem to be a side dish! I agree,it doesnt take more than a minute to email/ small call/text IF your AP wanted to.You've got to accept the status or leave the A if you believe that your AP is not giving you what you desire.
>>>"I get that I'm a "side dish" to him, but he's also the same to me, in the sense that neither of us have any intentions of leaving our marriages. "<<<
If that's the case, then give up the "unrealistic" expectations and just enjoy the moments you're together. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself "nuts". Even though it's work for him, the reality is that the W is with him and she's probably enjoying the time off with just the two of them. When I traveled with my AP/BF on his business trips, when he clocks out, he's mine for whatever I want to do. Believe me, he had NO time to be "chit-chatting" with anyone.
I understand how you feel. You are overracting a little bit, but it´s quite normal in situations like this.
BUT
There is one thing I´ve learned over the past two years... If they really want to stay in touch they will find a way. It only takes a few seconds to send a txt.
In an A we cannot expect to be a priority. But it feels great when that special someone is making the effort and makes us feel like we are.
You´ll have to get used to and accept your AP´s contact pattern...or....
A wise woman in here once wrote: When the negatives outweighes the positives it´s time to let go....
Pages
edit
edit
>>>"I get that I'm a "side dish" to him, but he's also the same to me, in the sense that neither of us have any intentions of leaving our marriages. "<<<
If that's the case, then give up the "unrealistic" expectations and just enjoy the moments you're together. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself "nuts". Even though it's work for him, the reality is that the W is with him and she's probably enjoying the time off with just the two of them. When I traveled with my AP/BF on his business trips, when he clocks out, he's mine for whatever I want to do. Believe me, he had NO time to be "chit-chatting" with anyone.
Myspace Graphics
Myspace Graphics
Thanks to everyone for the support!
I understand how you feel. You are overracting a little bit, but it´s quite normal in situations like this.
BUT
There is one thing I´ve learned over the past two years... If they really want to stay in touch they will find a way. It only takes a few seconds to send a txt.
In an A we cannot expect to be a priority. But it feels great when that special someone is making the effort and makes us feel like we are.
You´ll have to get used to and accept your AP´s contact pattern...or....
A wise woman in here once wrote: When the negatives outweighes the positives it´s time to let go....
Only you can tell when it´s time...
Pages