MM and I were emailing yesterday and I feel I am back to where we were a month ago yet not totally. Back then I would on occassion email him a VERY sexual and sensual "story". He loved them. It is really the way we have had IC I guess. Only through my stories....It was usually centered around me pleasing him. (Remember I started writing these so it's me who's wanting to please him in these.Don't think he's a total jerk- it was all me.) Anyhow- it's been a long time since I have done this but yesterday he asked for a story. I wrote one this morning and it made me blush so much that I emailed him and said I could not send it. Well, long story short, we agreed I should read it to him. So, I offered up lunch on Friday. He said he had to work and I said that was fine. (a person still needs to eat, right?) Anyhow- he said I could read it him when we got together but he never said anything about that being lunch on Friday. (See he just said, " I am scheduled to work" and did not say c'mon down anyhow.) So this afternoon I didn't want to harp on lunch so I said via email "meet me for drinks after you are done with work. same place". I just decided I was tired of this and set it up. I sent that at 2:00pm and have yet to hear anything back from him. Let me back up a tad- emails the last day or two have been back to sexual in nature and he seems excited to hear what I wrote. He did send one however last week that eluded to my health and a male friend of mine thinks this is my MM's way of wondering how I am.... I don't know. Another email he sent yesterday seemed caring in nature as well. But I read them like a woman. And of course, he's a man and obviously wrote it like a man thinks.
Now do I assume he will meet me on Friday for drinks or do I need to re-connect with him let's say on Fri afternoon if I have not heard from him to confirm? Do I show up there and wait in the parking lot as usual? The LAST thing I want to do show up and he is a no-show, then I will feel like a complete fool. However, if I DON'T show up and he does, then I have missed seeing him.
Is he playing me? What should I do? I don't want to come across desparate, clingy or needy and have been very confident in my emails to him. I have NOT been mushy nor emotional, I am acting like how I was when he and I first started all this 3 months ago. We have not be on a 'date' since April 23...
What's going on here???? Is this regressing back to where it was? Is he trying to nicely end this? Or..... ????
Other thoughts???
now take a deep breath but I know I have told you this before -
You are OVER ANYLYZING this ....
he is interested, he asked for the story, he wants you to read it to him - it's just that Friday for some reason doesn't work out for him -
Yes he's gotta have lunch but he also doesn't need the 'pressure' if he has a lot going on with work let it go ---- maybe you could read it to him over the phone --- sure not as much fun as in person but just stop this back and forth stuff you do in your head....
I know you can do this -- be confident - but I think you spend waaaaaaay too much time reading into the emails --
I don't know what MM's job is but my MM usually is meeting with clients and so forth during lunch or is out with a co-worker I also tend to back up when it comes to his job because he is in charge of a lot of things so the last thing I need is a head trip when it comes to wanting to see him ---
Yes I would confirm the drink thing - might as well do it now because he's either going to think you are pestering him and he's going to think your needy and clingy like you say and it could push him further back -
To say he is regressing isn't fair - I think he has a hard time telling you no and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he tries to do it in a nice way
Enjoy the emails and the stories but stop questioning everything this man does -
You really need to just sit back breathe a bit and enjoy this for what it's worth and stop over anylyzing things and reading into things -
ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY -- that is what this is about
Kikki
"......he is interested, he asked for the story, he wants you to read it to him - it's just that Friday for some reason doesn't work out for him....."
"....To say he is regressing isn't fair - I think he has a hard time telling you no and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he tries to do it in a nice way...."
So, to sum your thoughts up, you're saying is that he is interested in my stories but not me.
Yes, I do analyze. Like I said before, this has built me a nice career, but makes personal life with all its 'gray' area a nightmare.
Hope you are recovering well from your surgery. That being said:
Your guy is a crappy guy! Sorry to say that and now I think it’s none of your issues. I know you are going through a tough time and have the hots for this person so you keep on pursuing him but he....he really needs to STOP giving you mixed signals. I guess he hasn't made up his mind about you, what to do with you and just wants you to keep chasing him. Here’s what I suggest you to do. Find another man to get over your current man and keep the current man (the crappy one) aware of all the fun you are having (don't do the aware part too obviously or you will look pathetic) and when you are done with the getting over part, dump them both and start anew with who ever you want (preferably not the crappy one). Keep the getting over guy a single one so that you don't mess up any lives in the process. But seriously this current guy needs to learn a lesson :-) so that he stops stringing you along and stops giving you mixed hopes and signals.
PG
So now it's back to my crappy M. But I will smile pretty and hopefully that will sustain me. I need to accept what I have. And have not.
I am not showing up ( oh crap- I bet I will...widh there was a place to 'hide' my car so if he did show up I could casually drive up to the place. I do not want to openly park at the place in case he drives by and sees me there yet had no intention of stopping. Then I have been 'caught' mooning and pining over him.....
If you must go, then make sure he won't see you and if it were me I would try to resist going in to him, just to teach him a lesson about politeness and all. He should have confirmed with you TODAY!!!
I'm just afraid you're setting yourself up for a big letdown if he doesn't show. I hope you hear from him this afternoon before you have to decide what to do.
Dusty
If he does NOT show, then I know this is over and I will not have the temptation to contact him. If I don't show, I'll never know if he did or not. So even though I should NOT go, I will. That way it is right in my face that this is over. I will hurt but I already do so....
I can't help myself.... and I need to do this so I can close the door and keep myself on track to getting over him. June 1 is right around the corner and I really need closure... even if I have to find it out the hard way.
I have to try and get over MM the same way. If I try and tell myself I will never see him again, that would hurt too much. Never is way too final.
But if I just think "well maybe someday I may see him again", this is easier on my mind, and I can move on with my life. Hope things work out for you,
Dusty
I'm going to 'scope' out a safe place now by our meeting place.... we'll see what happens. wish me luck. i'll let you know...