REGRET- Had sex too soon - now he's gone
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 08-27-2010 - 8:34am |
Well, one make-out session 3 weeks ago, then a lunch 2 weeks ago - and last Friday he had a party at his house where him and I had waaaay too much to drink and we ended up having sex when everyone left. He is single, I am married - very unhappily - and actually am going back and forth whether or not I want to stay married. Anyway, the sex was not great. I mean I thought it was, but when he told me how much he regretted it and woke up the next day feeling horrible, well, that kinda ruined it for me. It was sloppy drunk sex and a little crazy because we were so drunk...but I still liked it. I think he did too but he is very responsible, careful and has told me he wants to move slow. He keeps saying "We don't have to go a thousand miles an hour here". I give him plenty of space and don't know why he thinks I want to move so fast. He was hurt in his last relationship very badly, I know that, so maybe he is afraid. I don't know but - oh how I wish I could turn back time and left that party while he was still looking at me from across the room with that look...kept him just wanting it. Now he regrets it and I don't know if I will ever hear from him again. I seem to keep scaring him away, even by just little e-mails or texts. I will not contact him again...I just have to wait and see.
I shouldn't even worry about it - my marriage could be falling apart so I should worry about that I know. But I am staying for the kids and part of me knows it is wrong to have an affair (it's not my first) but part of me feels like I can stay put and supplement my marriage with an affair too. However - A DDay would be disasterous so that's another thing.
I'm confused....wishing I didn't have sex so soon....wishing I didn't care if he called me because I should be focusing on my family and not him...but I really liked him and sometimes I wish I was available to be with him....I may never hear from him again. :(
Thanks...I know there is nothing I can really do...what's done is done. I just wanted to vent I guess.
LFT

Sorry you're feeling bad livefortoday. I can totally understand the regret you're feeling. Would it help if I told you he might have pulled back even if the sex hadn't happened for months? It's very common, with both married and single guys, to pull back after sex - heck it's even common when there are TWO single people having sex.
I would do just what you're doing. Don't contact him, give him all the space he needs even if it means you never hear from him again.
And yes, although you should be concentrating on your marriage and what you're going to do there, it's so normal to try to distract yourself from the really BIG problems. I know I do it. It's NOT healthy - but it's very common.
Keep us updated! And I hope you feel better soon.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've