Regretful, remorseful, duped

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2004
Regretful, remorseful, duped
2
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 2:41am
I am so regretful for the turn of events last weekend. I was unfaithful and it was wrong. And I think I was duped.

I feel like OM was pulling me into a scheme for the last several months. He found my vulnerabilities, said all the right things, and now he is flakey. I think I was a challenge, a conquest. Maybe I am crazy. But what happened was a big deal to me. A big risk. And I'm not a casual sex kind of person. OM is only the second person I've been with in my life. H is the only other. I thought something special was happening. I thought it was meaningful, emotional.

Yet he tells me it was fun. It was. But before he talked about all these feelings. Not physical feelings, but feelings feelings. He said he cared for me. As I was falling over the line last weekend, he kept saying things like "what if it is love?" Why would he say that? I dont think he meant it. I think he was lying. Maybe he didn't mean to lie. Maybe he thought he meant it.

We are both in committed Rs, so I dont know what I expected. We couldn't go live happily ever after. I know that. But there has been so little contact since then. We are working on a huge joint project together and the stress is high. He knew I was upset this morning over the project and rather than helping me himself, he sent his GF. What was that all about? He's lied to me this week. Avoided me. This is the longest we've gone without seeing each other in months.

I dont know what I expected. I'm just sorry I did this. I know that I got exactly what I deserved. I wish I could go back in time. But I can't. And I so deserve the pain I am feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 3:14am
Sorry hun but it sounds like you just plain and simple got played, he said the stuff you needed to he so he could bag you it was no accident, if your patient he will be back for more in a couple of weeks when the mood strikes him, IT IS A EMA and nothing more they start they go on for a period of time then all most all end, if thats not for you it's time to decide your not going there again and make it stick.

Be true to you

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 9:30am
You might want to visit the "All Sides of an Affair" forum at the Redbook site on iVillage. I think you will get some good advice and support there also. Lily