Releasing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2008
Releasing...
1
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 7:53pm

My life took a U-Turn last night…

I have a good-hearted H, but I have not been happy for the past two years. We have been together for almost 10 years (next month). Along the way, I have lost respect for him completely. I work, pay all the bills and do the house work (if it gets done). He is self-employed and pretty much works how ever much or little he wants to without contributing to household finances.

I have been trying to work through my issues, but my feelings toward H just keep getting more and more resentful. We have a lot of friends that are separating. We don't have kids, so the only ones we are hurting or staying for is each other. I cannot destroy this man; he just doesn't deserve it.

I have been in a PA for a little over 4 months. H knows nothing about this, but I did tell him I was attracted to other men. AP is single, and deserves more than a married girlfriend.

I have gotten to the point that I need to take care of myself, step back and get everything in order. I have let some things go the past couple of years that I really need to handle.

H is being very understanding. He said he just wants to leave and get on with his life. I had no intention of getting to this point last night; it just kind of happened. I told him we needed to talk and that I wasn’t happy. We were both level-headed and talked. He said he is moving out in the next few weeks so that we can get on with it before the holidays.

I was one of those cake-eaters that thought I could just have it all. I realized that I am hurting a lot more than just myself. Both of these men deserve more. I need to figure out what I want and need to take care of myself. We’ll see what plays out with AP. I think I sent him running scared when I told him what happened this morning.

I don't know if I'll ever get married again. I feel like the institution is so warped. I come from the South, and marriage and kids are expected. It's like the end-all goal of life. I really thought that H and I had what it took to be one of those couples that last for 40 years.

C'mon Hurricane Ike, wash away all my tears!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sun, 09-14-2008 - 10:25am

Hi VP -


Just wanted to let you know that I read your post - and although I'm sure that it's scary and sad to think of ending your M - it sounds like for both you and your H - it is probably for the best.

lightning in my heart