In response to meow and ?s re: counselor
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|Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:17am|
It is sooo right that we all change during the course of our relationships and lives. H and I were a PERFECT match 15 years ago, and MM and his W were a perfect match 10 years ago. Now…….not so much for either of us.
My counselor didn’t say that MM and I would have a hard time parting BECAUSE of the physical aspect – he said that ending it may not be the best thing for ME considering what I am facing in various aspects of my life. As a matter of fact MM and I have only been physical 3 times in the past 4 months. I think my counselor might have meant that I am drawing a lot of strength (?) from my R with MM and therefor, ending it may not serve a greater purpose. I don’t think I’ll feel pain when/if the physical aspect of our R ends. If the physical ends, we will still have a great deal of love for each other as friends and will continue to see each other as friends. I agree – MM is not my “be all and end all”, but I would jump at the chance to MAKE him that LOL.
Ya know…I just plainly and simply LIKE MM more than my H. MM is gentle, kind, caring, a “go getter”, a “leader” a positive person, a romantic person, a man who treats women with respect and who truly cares for the people in his life. Yes, H has some of those qualities, but I’ve been hurt by H so many times, I’m having a hard time “allowing” him back into my heart and trusting him again – I “feel” like he is not going to continue his efforts to change and be more attentive to our M.
I wonder…..what IF is was to tell MM I’d rather be with him than H - “let’s ditch the lousy spouses and try for a happy life with each other” What could it really hurt? If it scares him off then so be it – we end this thing and move on. If he takes it to heart and considers it, then maybe we will both gain from it (although our spouses and the friendships we have with them would be totally screwed). Geez..I don’t know. I’m pretty tempted to say that I hope he doesn’t contact me when he gets back in town – he well as a friend, but maybe I dont want him to contact me as a lover. Then ther is that big part of me who can not WAIT to hold him and touch him and kiss him…….ugh!