Results of Your Affair - A Survey
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Results of Your Affair - A Survey
| Sun, 11-02-2008 - 10:57pm |
I'm always looking to find those happy endings, but it has occurred to me that perhaps those people don't visit these sections of the boards.

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Edited 11/12/2008 5:20 am ET by hkmcoleman
1. If you're married, did you leave your marriage for your AP? No-neither of us have
2. Or, did you leave your marriage for other reasons (ie irreconcilable differences)? No
3. Whether you're single or married, did your AP leave his marriage to be with you? No
4. Regardless of the above three questions, are you content or happy with your current situation in an affair? No-we rarely see each other, it's only email w/the exception of very brief meetings & nothing physical happens other than a small peck on the lips :( It's been 10 years since we have had IC
5. If you are holding out hope to be together in the future with your AP, do you really believe it will happen? I don't really know honestly
6. What are the top two reasons that you believe a MM will not leave his wife when he is not happy in the R? His kids
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~People enter our lives f
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Good answers - I especially like the last one "cheaper to keep her & ice cream on the side", but oh so true.
Another question for you:
Yes, I left mostly for AP, but also because marriage had been going badly; but then, it had been going badly before the affair or else I would never have entered into the affair.
2. Or, did you leave your marriage for other reasons (ie irreconcilable differences)?
See above. Hubby asked for the divorce about a year after I entered into the affair, and I jumped at the chance because I'd been unhappy and trying to fix things unsuccessfully for about 6 years, I have been hoping that AP would leave his W for me as well (since he had said his marriage had been "friends only" for 10 years). Said that although he loved her, was "in love" with me. Hasn't happened though and it's been over 6 months.
3. Whether you're single or married, did your AP leave his marriage to be with you?
No, he hasn't, he's having his cake and eating it too. I am getting ready to end it soon. I just can't take the pain anymore. The pain outweighs the good, so it's time to end it.
4. Regardless of the above three questions, are you content or happy with your current situation in an affair?
I am not happy with the current situation in our affair. Since I left STBXH in March (2 months after we decided to split), AP has been doing what I believe is the "pulling away" thing that many MM in affairs do. We don't see each other for more than an hour or an hour and a half a week, and there's very little "quality" time, although the sex is still great. In the beginning of our FWB relationship, he was the one who started the emotional side of the relationship (said he had feelings for me, I did too but never would have said so) and talked about "traveling down the road" together and seeing where this would all lead, wanting to see me as much as possible, etc. Now that I'm actually free though, it seems he can take it or leave it. I do think he still has feelings for me, but I think they are now commingled with guilt because he probably feels guilty for "making" me leave my marriage.
But I don't feel bad. Things are going to be okay because I got out of an intolerable situation (my marriage) and there's hope for the future. My ending it with AP will either make him reconsider one last time, or not. Either way, I know I have a chance at true happiness that was no longer possible with STBXH. You only have one life, I'm doing everything I can to take it the best possible for me.5. If you are holding out hope to be together in the future with your AP, do you really believe it will happen?
I used to, but that hope has died. I am very sad, because I truly love AP.
6. What are the top two reasons that you believe a MM will not leave his wife when he is not happy in the R?
Money and social status--in addition to being afraid of losing his "things" (although AP and I both earn a good salary so that we could actually accumulate those "things" together again very quickly), he is very conscious about what other people think about him. We work together and I think that even if we left our marriages at separate times and got together sometime after so that it would "look like" we hadn't left specifically for each other, he would still not like it that some people might gossip that maybe we *had* left our M's for each other.
I appreciate the insight and hopefully this will open up some good discussions. I hope so too, I always get so much from this board even though I mostly lurk. :)
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