Returning Here After 6 Months.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2012
Returning Here After 6 Months.....
Mon, 09-03-2012 - 12:02pm
It's been a while since I've posted here because I thought. I was getting myself and my marriage straightened out. Now, I am not so sure.

DH and I went through a year-long rough spot which resulted in us growing apart. An old high school friend re-entered my life, as I saw him fairly often when bringing our kids to school (same grade, same class), and he started making obvious attempts to see and talk to me. Because I was already having problems with DH, I enjoyed the attention a lot. I started trying to run into him too. I have always found him to be attractive and funny to be around.

I saw "David" looking for me, making eye contact with me, grinning from ear to ear when we talked, etc. I became so consumed with him that I freaked out and sent him a Facebook message (we were online friends) asking him to not talk to me and just act like I was not there if he ran into me and I was sorry. I expected that to be the end of it.

He backed away considerably and stopped parking next to me in the school parking lot. But, he would still say hello, and on another occasion seemed to make another attempt to run into me. The smile and look on his face made me melt, so I again sent him a message and said we were going to have to talk about this. I think that finally scared him off. About 4 weeks later, he unfriended me on Facebook, and he started picking up his kids at a later time than me (presumably so we wouldn't see each other).

Fast forward to a month ago, and he's stealing looks at me, smiling, waving, putting himself in my line if view, and I'm falling for him again. DH knows about what went on, so it's no longer been a secret for the last 3 months. DH and I are still not completely healed, and obviously something is wrong between him and his wife to be acting like this. David enjoys many things I do that DH does not, and he's a cop and looks pretty amazing in his uniform (which he has made sure I have seen him in). I think about him all the time again. I just wish I could have that conversation with him, but our spouses are always there or we don't see each other long enough to speak. Such an emotionally draining time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 10:08am

It's been a long time since I've been here, and I'm not familiar with your story.  You said you can't avoid seeing MM, but it sounds like there was a period of time it wasn't an issue.  Were you not running into him as much, or not feeling anything towards him for a while?

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 7:39pm
I understand the relapses. I went 3 years with no contact and 2 months ago I reached out to AP.
It sounds like you have things still to work on in your M. I know I do. M's are hard, constant work. Lots of luck!!!


Shadow Word generated at

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 10:33am

Lost you did so well for 3 years-what made you break and contact him after all that time? You were doing so well. Did you have other AP's during that time?  Do you regret contacting him?


Much peace & Love,



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2002
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 3:37am

I think your last poster, something like nouseforanamem, hit it right on the head of the issue.  Maybe you just like the flirtation and want to share the thrill with someone (this site).  Maybe you are at a point where a man's attention is incredibly enticing, enjoyable and makes you feel like a beautiful, sexy, desirable woman.  Nothin wrong with that honey!  I think we all crave to be wanted for our unique personalities, intelligence, and of course our outward sexiness.  You don't (and shouldn't) act on it though.  Its much more fun to imagine the scenarios then to deal in real life with their consequences!