Reunited with sweetheart after 20+ yrs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Reunited with sweetheart after 20+ yrs
4
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 12:45am
This will sound like a movie script, but it's not. I fell in love with the basketball center on the opposing church's team when I was 14. He was 16 then. I told my best friend that day I would marry him. We dated and remained virgins (even by Mr Clinton's standards) until I was 18. Then, I went to parochial college in another state for my jr. and sr. yrs. We planned to marry when I graduated. A minister found out that we were in love and turned us in. We got split up and our parents shamed publicly. Very hurtful. I dropped out and married someone else who was rebounding from his own problems within 18 mos. Fast forward ten years. The six squads cars come to remove my then-husband from the premises. (Not kidding) I haven't spoken to Dave since we were split up, per the pastor's orders. The phone rings. It's him! His wife left him that VERY MORNING! (I know, I know, but I swear it's true!) He asks me to come home. I've got a 2 yr old to care for, and I'm shaken from the events that brought the police to my house. I chicken out on seeing Dave. Two years later, I'm in my home state and we have coffee. his wife came back. It's bittersweet. I'm still single. Now, I've been single +10 yrs. I realized in therapy he's the only man I've ever loved in my life. I don't tell him this, of course. Out of the blue, he calls me again. He's coming to town! We just spent the last blissful 24 hours together. I've never felt so connected, loved, cared for, in touch with, respected by, etc. any man in my life. I am still intensely in love with this man, and he is with me. Problem: I'm not the "other woman" type any more. Did that already. Or at least, that's what I thought until this morning when he reminded me we've loved one another for +25 yrs. I can't see him often, because he's living too far away. I'm not thrilled about this, but I know there never has been anyone else for me so far in my life. I want to "wait and see" if he makes a move, but he won't. He has a wife, a kid not out of high school yet, and a huge business empire. They just bought a new house. This is not an unhappy man, he just happens to also love me, and I sort of got "grandfathered" into his heart. PS - Although after 10 yrs single i've been there, done that with plenty of guys, I'm his third woman ever, and first in his +16 yr marriage. For real. Which makes it harder for us both. Am I totally blind here? Perspective, please!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 6:46am
Okay. First of all I will direct you to another website you will relate to http://www.lostlovers.com. You are not blind, you are in love. (Could be the same thing). Just take it slow, since he is married. You will find the support you need here and at lostlovers. It's a trip.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 6:48am
I say dump him! Find your self a new man and be happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 11:36pm
Thank you ever so much for your referral and also for your support. I expect to marry him within the next 18 months!!!! I didn't know I would ever, ever, ever be this happy in my whole life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 6:01am
Wow! That was fast. You are one lucky girl. There are going to be some rough spots but your love will get you through. I wish you the very best.