The Ride is Over..for now
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The Ride is Over..for now
| Tue, 09-08-2009 - 3:51pm |
And possibly forever. Much as i love the guy, it just kills me to see him degrade himself because of his wife. I can't watch it anymore. If he wants to do that, then so be it. But i'm choosing not to be a party to it, nor do i want to be known as some floozy who couldn't control herself. I really feel like telling him to call me when he decides to grow some balls, and until he can start standing up for himself to her, i can't be around him anymore to watch his humiliation. And i'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces anymore either. Feel like i'm giving a lot more than i get back and thats not right. I will soon be single while he will not. I will be starting anew while he is still with the old. I'm tired of the roller coaster ride, and i'm getting off of it for now. Thanks to all who have been a help.

Hi emscemily,
I'm very glad for you. You sound trully fed up with the situation. Your AP was very blessed to have you for the time he did. Maybe this will cause him to wake up and take some steps toward his own happiness.
How do you feel about being done with him? Are you relieved? I'm starting to get really tired and fed up, so I just wondered what
So yeah, i decided i had enough of watching my friend being ambushed over and over again by his own W and go back for more every time. And all our mutual friends dont wanna socialize with him and his W anymore either cuz of how she treats him. And I just cant stand the person he is around her and not so sure i can trust him to be really truthful with me, as i have seen him omit information many times to her.. what does he omit telling me? i can only wonder. If he does it to his own W, he will do it to me too. I dont need it, i dont want it...i'm off this ride for a while. When and if AP decides to get his balls back, i may or may not be there for him. Life goes on.
Big hugs to you. I am so sorry for your pain.
This man wanted to be treated like a man by you, then goes back home to continue being treated like a wallet and a doormat. If he feels unable or unwilling to take control of his life then you are enabling him to keep up the charade he calls his M by being his outlet. Good on you for getting off that torturous ride.
I sincerely hope that you get the outcome you want but you are right that until you leave the scene, he will never know how much you mean to him.
Good luck.
SB
What i feel is that since you are about to be free , you want to shop around for single men and AP doesnt suit the bill.
You say that if does this to wife then wont he to you but then again, you will see how things are if he is free? Well, how does it matter if he is free?he will do the same to you.You seem to be putting your need to be free from him( not at all selfish thou) ,by blaming him.If you want to be able to shop around after being free then dont fault find in him.
you seem to be wanting to be guilt free by breaking up with AP.your desire to date around is right but blaming AP is wrong.If you to be free,then be so.Why stone throw to someone who , who knows why is tolerating being treated like a doormat?
How can the 'ride be over .. for now' when you believe that AP might do the same to you.
Stop blaming him for your own selfish decision.
Many people stay married for reasons known to them only.
I think that was a little harsh LD. Why should she feel guilty about breaking up with AP when he comes to her for his feel goods and ego strokes then goes home to get a helping of crap from W? I believe that she is enabling him to tolerate the abuse he gets in his home by being there to build him up to man-status when he feels inadequate. She still cares for him but is angry at his cake-eating. Telling EE off for trying to stop from feeling used is unfair IMO.
emscemily, do what you feel is necessary, but i do believe that he will only realize what a support you are to him once you are not there to make him feel better about what he lives with- and rightly so. If he wants misery, then he will stay put.
OK i stand corrected. Written in that context i now understand her point. Thanks myra.
I am all for unfiltered opinions, but i read in the OP was that what EE was more interested in keeping this A open and venting that she wanted him to jump off that darn fence once and for all (on her side of course). I can see now how it can be read in two ways. Sorry LD.
SB