I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. I know how easy it is to get excited about a new future, a new change, something for the better - especially when you're off alone together without your families/real life.
I'm new here, and can only offer what my therapist told me. We are all on a path, and eventually we will get somewhere. Right now we don't know where we'll end up, but that's OK. It's OK not to know the end, not to be able to see what's going to happen. Life will continue, and we will continue.
It's hard advice for me, as I'm also married with two kids and wishing that I could just 'Thelma and Louise" with my AP (we joked about it, actually) because I don't know what's going to happen.
My therapist has also told me to try and remember why I married my H in the first place. What did I see I him? What did I like about him? It helped me (a bit) take my mind off of my AP when he goes NC.
I hope you feel better soon.
....... cannot imagine making my husband choose between working on our marriage or going through a divorce on infidelty charges, and I certainly do not want this man to leave his marriage under these circumstances. I just pray that she will wake up and respect herself enough and love him enough to let him go. .........................
So have you told your H & kids that you are divorcing him ?