Role Reversal ?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-07-2010 - 3:07pm |
So many of us suffer here because of lack of contact from AP or the hot and cold from them.When he is available,most of us jump to them and in a way encourage the behavior.Has anyone ever tried to do role reversal?What I mean is,when AP contacts after disappearing,instead of jumping to his bones,tried to ignore or give a taste of their own medicine?
My A is pretty new and AP is a neighbor and in the last week he has bailed out on me 2 times !! I have that urge to kick his big bum on monday when we are supposed to go for lake side lunch.Its a good 2 hour drive.How about letting him drive all the way and let him have all the lunch to himself ;)? Is it possible that he learns what he did to me last week feels like?Or it will backfire and begin the infamous games ? I dont want to ruin what we have ,to be honest.
AP gave me lame reasons when he didnt turn up.Why do we all give these men the power to steer the direction of the A?
Thanks for any advice or POV.

Honestly?
anotherseyes
I agree with another on honesty being the best policy...I'll pause for a moment to allow for snickering -- I know, honesty in an A sounds oxy-moronish, but... :) You said your A is new, so really the two of you are probably still figuring out how to manage it within context of 2 separate lives.
When AP and are were in that phase (and to some degree things in our lives still force changes) I would get my feelings hurt over exactly what you describe. I found 2 things helpful: 1) Be VERY open and honest about how his actions/inactions affected me and do so in a non-threatening way, i.e. "I'm sure you don't realize..." (and I honestly don't think he did). Humor helps as well...I explained "squirrels :)
I have been in my A for 4mths (I'm a MW). We rekindled a 7mths
I too believe in honesty is the best policy but it takes two to obey the rule.I am thinking of giving him a bitter medicine for once.If he dosent like it,well,he has to pass the sweety to me to get his share.
Sorry ladies,I am not the one to let it go so easily.I will go MIA on him tomorrow.When he whines,I will then have a talk with him about keeping it nice and easy.