The rollercoaster ride of emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The rollercoaster ride of emotions
12
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 11:13am
I've been in my EMA for several years. And, just when you think you have experienced it all, something happens to set you off again. Even after all these years I still have a hard time excepting that MM is still married. Any thing he does for his W is like a slap in the face to me. It is still hard for me to accept the fact that they have a child together, thus, they will always have a common interest. It's hard for me to accept any part of his married life. For me it is extremely hard, extremely hard, me being single and having a relationship with a MM. I guess if he had never said that we would have a life together, and "if" I had never gottn my hopes up, then maybe I would not feel like this. But, he did, and it changed my life.

I think one of the problems is, that MM always paints this picture that he and his W are just barely cordial to each other. That they don't do anything together, they only communicate through their daughter. They don't sleep in the same room, yada, yada, yada...

I don't care how long you are in this type of relationship, you will still have those moments, where it's hard to deal with.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 12:19pm
Hey secret...

Im glad to know your willing to go out...I know its easier said then done. Becuase hell if I know I have a chance to see MM I wait. Actually I went out Friday night with my sis and her b/f to the movies - I mean hell cant sit around. I went out with a Coworker and my sis and her b/f dancing saturday MM was out of town. Tomorrow night I got a few girls from work to go out just have a drink and guess what MM's wife is out of town. But you know I would really want to be with him rather then with friends. BUT you know what I just want to show him the my world does not revolve around him (sometimes it does). Im like well I can see you afterwards if not Saturday. ITS HARD.

But I think your idea about joining the gym would be great - I did that and not to meet other people but to feel good about myself. After you see results - its the best feeling!! I am in school so I meet people there and we have gone out a few times just friends - not interested in anyone. Wishing there was a GOOD SINGLE GUY out there. But you know he is not going to come knocking at your door if you dont get out. Do anything there was some good suggestions on the post.

I wish you the best.

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 1:24pm
honey, i was totally in your situation. after 16 years, on my own with three children, out-of-shape, glasses, frizzy perm and absolutely zero hobbies. i did have a few friends and i joined a bowling league through one of them. i had no skills, athletic or otherwise, just out to have a good time with other adults. it was a first step for me! then i took a few classes at the local community college and made more friends there, branching out of my age group.

and please only use the gym to get in shape, not to meet guys. gyms are notoriously meat markets, like bars. take walks in the evenings (or whenever you have time). i love walking because it gets you out of the house, it's exercise and you can meet other people farther away from your home while you walking.

it's difficult to get in the right frame of mind to get out and about, especially as your self-confidence is at an all-time low right now. just take baby steps. maybe you can reach out to other moms in your children's daycare or schools, to see if anyone seems friendly enough to start a conversation with.

you're not boring -- you've been keeping your head down and being a wife and mother. i know firsthand how hard that job is. and how easy it is to lose your own identity in the process of raising a family.

as you said, just get out more!

take care and good luck,

gurl

Pages