The Rules of Communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
The Rules of Communication
1
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 4:00pm
Hi, I'm a lurker with a question. I'm M, so is he. We've known eachother for 7 years, it's mostly been a long distance flirty friendship (over the phone, sometimes seeing eachother at a function). We got together twice in the past year and a half for a little play....not all the way, but it was just to *play*. No dinner...just a little time while in town in a hotel room, to *play*. First time together, I sent out the first email, about a week later. He wasn't overly gushy, or friendly, or sexy...and I took offense. You know, it's a delicate time.

This second time together, which was simply amazing, we talked a lot, and we enjoyed eachother......but I haven't emailed, nor has he (he's not much of an emailer) and nobody has called (he's not much of a caller either;). I know he's the type to get guilty though, so I have no problem just leaving him alone. Even for weeks if need be. We click, and I think we both know it, but we don't talk about it. Part of me feels bad I haven't contacted him since our last time together, it's been a little over a week....but I just really don't have anything to say. It's not like we're in a affair so to speak, we just enjoy eachother every once in a while. So, there's no rule I have to do anything, right? What does saying nothing, say?

thanks for any comments.

Jazz

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 12:35am
Hi Jazzy "(From one virgo girl to another)":

It seems to me that he is waiting to hear from you first as to your thoughts about your fling. Guys have a hard time expressing their feelings, so he may be a little freaked out over it. I guess you need to also decide if you want to continue or cool it with him. If you want to continue, then I would let him know that. But just be careful and guard your heart. As with my situation, I thought I could handle it emotionally. Instead, I fell fast and hard for my MM and he broke my heart after about 6 months into it. We ended up back together so to speak, but it's been an absolute roller-coaster ride (more than 5 years now). He and I still vascillate back and forth because of the guilt thing. And even though we love each other, I don't think he will ever leave his W. I've realized he doesn't have the stomach for it. So I try to accept it for what it is and enjoy the time I spend with him. It's not an easy road to travel once your emotions come into play. Good Luck!!

Virgogirl