Sad during sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Sad during sex
3
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 4:01pm
I am a married woman seeing a married man for about 4 months. We work together and have known each other for 1 year. We started as best friends and escalated from there. To go staight to the point we both have said that we love each other but the discussion of being together has never come up he has a child I have none. Twice now during sex he has said that he wants to ejaculate inside of me and I have said "no" and he asks "why" and I said "because of what happens nine months later thats why" and he says that it would be nice to have a kid and that didnt I say that I wanted one. The conversation ends there. Thing is first time he said this we talked about it afterwards and he said that he didnt mean to freak me out that he thought a child between us would be interesting and that he would give me one if I wanted. The second time he asked me if I was freaked out about what he said and I said "no not really" and he said that it was psychological that it helps to say things like that during sex. I am no idiot I have never heard of that. I just don't understand it I feel it is a game, or he felt rejected and embarrassed, since we are both married to other people and having a kid is impossible. HELP. Just need some feedback. Thanx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: sally289
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 5:30pm
Hello, I'm not sure why he is doing it, I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who is going through this. I also am . My MM and I have been having afair for over a year and he also wants to ejaculate in me. I have not let him do this because like you am thinking this seems crazy. I'm not on the pill. We have had unprotected sex once but he pulled out and I never did get pregnant. He tlls me that the reason he wants to do it is because him and his wife can not get pregnant and if he could get me pregnant then he would be with me and never leave. I'm wondering why he can not get a divorce first. He says it would be the perfect excuse to get out of our current situations, I just think its kinda weird, although, I do really like him. I mean he is an intelligent man, he is the boss of his company, I just can not understand this. He does want to be with me. I just don't understand why he would not want to get a divorce first.

Well, just thought I would let you know I was going through same thing

hugs, Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
In reply to: sally289
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 10:55pm
Been there, done that! I made that mistake the very first time my OM and I had sex. I too, was not on any birth control), and guess what happened??? Yep, I got pregnant...all because I was too foolish to say "no". Imagine my surprise when in 13 years of marriage I never once got pregnant by H...yet I have sex one time with OM and all of a sudden I find myself pregnant at the age of 37. Due to the circumstances, I chose to terminate - another difficult decision that I don't wish on anybody. I cannot express how often I think about that "chapter" of my life and how I only wish it had NEVER happened! Please be careful, ladies! Just my .02 cents.

Bfly

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: sally289
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 4:20pm
You girls should protect yourselves, don't get pregnant!! A baby is for life. It may sound romantic but believe me it is not. Anyways, how would you explain getting pregnant if you don't have much sex with your H? (or maybe you do). My MM is fixed, so am I. Thank God, because I don't have sex in my marriage, there would be alot of explaining to do!!
xxxx