Sad sad sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sad sad sad
9
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:12am

Well he's been OS for 10 days now. I know he is flat out, I know he has phone issues apparently and he sent me one text.


I am so annoyed/sad/squirrelly. I am trying to get it together and remind myself that these are squirrels and that its my big old monster rearing its anxiety-ridden head. But gosh Im sad.


I really dont know, the fun times are fun, and I have very strong feelings for him. But this whole thing just causes me so much stress. I just dont know if I can or should continue.


Im about to have this stupid operation and I soooo dont want to be sitting here day after day thinking and obsessing about him.


Gawd Im sad tonight- sorry guysx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 11:16am

operation? hope just something minor... I have tons of anxiety also all the time and almost made a dr. appointment last week for depression pills but I don't want to go on them due to the side affects.


OS? does that mean out of state maybe? do you have much communication normally and do you initiate alot of it or does he?


I of course would love to tell you to dump him but I know how hard that is. When you are not ready it is impossible to end. Have you ever ended it before or has it always been him? if him, he knows he has super powers on you... I HATE THAT... I suppose you tried all the games such as ignoring him for awile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 12:24pm

Sending you {{hugs}} Iggy.

I am replying on my mobile phone so it's hard to write too much but I just wanted to say take care. I am coming up to his two weeks vacation and this is the very first time in 5 years I've been ok with it (so far) so I know how hard this is. I think it's perfectly reasonable to feel p'd off at him for so little contact. The question is - was it reasonable for him not to contact you. Ie: was he really so flat out, were the technical issues that bad? Have you contacted him? Can you call him? If not you may have no alternative but to wait and ASK him when he gets back. Tell him. Be who you are and tell him how you feel. You are only ever going to be able to do this without losing your sanity if you can find ground that you BOTH feel you can live with. He needs to see that.

You have a difficult personal time coming up and you need to take care of YOU - physically and emotionally. I do know however, that it's very hard to actually figure out how to do that when AP is so firmly set in your head.

Back later
(probably to edit this into something that makes sense)!

Bird

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 1:11pm

" I know those games are mean and I have done them with others in the past... but they work... and they come back begging...and its my revenge for the things they do to me...

But I don't know much about you and your AP so its hard for me to comment. I do all the wrong things anyways it seems..."

Reading this makes me sad as well. This has to hurt like hell if in reality you are doing non of it !
I would caution though to 'not' try it with someone who wouldnt take them or would take them to be serious and leave you.

I mean,how do you do it??

I feel sorry for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 3:35pm
I don't think she's doing anything that a lot of people haven't done - sounds like she's just sometimes making herself a little unavailable, there's nothing wrong with that.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 3:42pm
Awww Iggy, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. If I might venture to guess, I think it's hitting you so hard because of the impending operation. Even if you don't think you're worried, it's there underneath, making everything else worse than it might otherwise be. Let yourself off the hook about making ANY major decisions about anything right now. Say, right now, "Self, I'll worry about this LATER, there's plenty of time. Right now I'm going to dive into a good book/movie/have a soak in the tub/whatever makes me feel better. My prime concern is being healthy and taking care of myself!" And keep saying it till you mean it! Your biggest job is to take care of this operation and come back here well on the way to total recovery. When that's all over, you can think about and decide things like leaving or staying with AP, etc. etc. I think, once you decide NOT to worry about it, it will be like a weight off your shoulders! We need you to concentrate on YOU so you can come back here and help everyone out! LOL! (((HUGS))) ♥

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 4:03pm
how do I do it? very easy... First of all, I don't do it to current guy cause there is tons of respect there on both ends and he would never do that to me... even when we had our 3 month break I never played those games with him. BUT... I previously played those games with the jerks who were messing with my head and who did WORSE things to me... first.... I only did those things AFTER I was burned from them but A was still on... makes me feel better, revenge makes me feel better, guess I am evil for that... And yes I do go out with friends and get hit on and maybe I let them know that too... and same with ignoring them - a way to make them see how that hurts, turn the tables a bit... no need to feel sorry for me, i'm pretty normal I think!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 4:34pm
Hi Iggy - Sending you some BIG ((((HUGS))))! Right now you are feeling SO vulnerable because of your upcoming operation.
LouLou
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 12:05am

Hi all,


Thanks for your support


In answer to a few questions. Dee he is in Europe at moment (Im in Aus), he is there for work/pleasure but very busy. He did say he would have trouble contacting me as he has a new IT set up- but when he went this time last year he managed to text most days.


We normally chat/text most weekdays and I have no doubt he has feelings for me (used to say we were meant for each other and that we had a future together) all before the big GUILT set in and he pulled back :(


But he sent atext today- again sweet and nice- but nothing overly romantic- just Hello My Princess, blah blah about trip. Huge hugs and kisses and hoping I am reaxed about Wed.


On Wed I have a hysterectomy and as Lou said probably a lot more worked up about it than I realise (and I already realise I am so maybe Im hugely stressing under the surface). Seeing as I just spent 20mins wondering if saying 'Hello MY Princess' rather than the last text 'Hello Princess' is a sign- Im thinking Im a tad stressed :)


I still feel flat- I feel like I am a tick on his to-do list somedays. Its more about keeping this going than actually living IN it like we used to. Ahhh sigh


You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 12:32am

Many ((((hugs)))) Iggy!

anotherseyes