Sad today
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Sad today
| Fri, 10-31-2003 - 9:56am |
I've had an eventful twelve hours or so and now I'm just sad. I feel like I need to vent. Without going into too many details, MM and his W are having a big blowout right now over something that's really pretty stupid. Yesterday morning we had the phone sex thing but right after the phone sex and then when I saw him late in the day he was all weird. I thought he was embarassed and he kind of implied he was, but who knows. Right before we left all seemed fine but then this morning I found out he and W are fighting and he's pretty upset about it. I think at first maybe he was fine with it but aside from the phone sex, which he'd predetermined he was going to do from the time he learned he was going to be home alone, he was pretty tense yesterday and I'm beginning to think maybe the fight with her is the reason why. He was more tense than ever this morning and said he might be weird today but not to take it too personally. I told him if he needed his space, that was okay, and that I wouldn't come around but he insisted he wants to see me. So I hinted later in the conversation if he wanted me to back off and just be friendly but not flirty that would be fine but he said he actually would prefer I be as I always am. Still, I can tell he's really distracted by this and when I'm flirty and he's distracted, it ends up being pretty embarassing! My pride just gets all crushed. All I can really do is just be there for him -- be the POSITIVE in his life. I did tell him that I can't stand to see him all tense like he is today. There's only one other time I've seen him that tense and that ended up being the first time I realized how much I cared about him. I wanted to just hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. I told him that again today...that I hate to see him suffer and he said, "You wish you could take my pain away." He remembered I said that to him a couple of months ago, so I think it meant a lot to him. So I guess I'll just take my clues from him today and be there for him and listen and if I sense something I say or do isn't going well, I'll back off. It's so hard, knowing how to handle men, isn't it?! Especially moody, sensitive ones.

I just want to give you some hugs to make it through today. Tomorrow will probably be totally back to normal. Hang in there.
Hugs !
Wishing~
Hang in there, I think you're doing the right thing by looking for clues to decide on how to be around MM...but you may want to give him some space even though he hasn't asked for it. You're already on his mind and nothing's going to change that so once he sorts things out for himself you can pick up from where you left off - without having to deal with his mood swings. Just my two cents..
wow i sound like a pro - trust me i'm far from it!!