Saddness
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Saddness
| Fri, 05-21-2004 - 3:57pm |
I have absolutely no idea why I feel this way, but I'm so overwhelmed with sadness over this A today. It's not regret or guilt, but genuine sadness that I can't explain. It's not "hormonal", and I'm normally a very upbeat person. This is very confusing for me.
Has anyone else experienced this? I mean, I just can't shake it...one of my children just came home and was telling me something wonderful that happened in her day. I "tried" to seem happy for her, but she clearly sensed something was wrong and ask if I was ok. I lied (something I'm doing alot lately) and said I was just really tired.
Sh!t! This is starting to bleed over into my "regular" life....I really don't need this, but can't "fix it" unless I know what is making me sad about the MM and the A. Anyone have ideas?

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Big.
Edited 5/21/2004 4:13 pm ET ET by bigsecrets
You have to act the way you want her to be thinking of you when she is missing you.
Hope that helps a little.
Blackhat
Maybe it's the weather...raining all day...ugh!
Bigsecrets...I wouldn't totally hide your sadness. You might make her feel like you don't care you'll be apart for 3 months. My MM and I had this problem. He was so good hiding his feelings I thought our A was over and started distancing myself from him. I was afraid of getting hurt. Luckily he really cares about me and confronted me about our NC. We talked and everything is great!
Also, is there something small you can give her to let her know you'll be thinking of her while you're apart?...my MM gave me a necklace (small silver heart) and my H didn't notice. My friend who is in an EMA received a beautiful bookmark since she loves to read.
Good luck and try to enjoy your precious time together.
Hang in there...Sweet summer breeze...it's one of the toughest things to handle when you feel this sadness. You said that you are normally an upbeat person so I know that you'll be able to pick yourself up again:-)
Bigsecrets...I'd love to pick your brain. I've written my story before but thought I would familiarize you with it. Thought about sending a message specifically to you because my MM is in a similar situation as you and I would love some input. When we started our A, his son was a few months old, I have no kids. For the past year, he has been so torn wanting to be with me but cannot imagine leaving his son. His son is now 16 months and we both realize that he may not be able to ever leave his son. He can't imagine not being able to see his son everyday. He had been faced with the pressure of having a second child. Due to his inability to see himself leaving his son anytime soon, his age, his W's age, and his desire to provide his son with a sibling (he doesn't want his son to be an only child), he gave in and now his wife is pregnant. I was very hurt and upset but he is trying so hard to let me realize that: he didn't do it because he loved his wife, he did it for his son, and he did it not being able to predict the future of whether or not he could really leave his son someday or if I could ever leave my H someday. Being in a M with a child, do you understand this reasoning? I suppose that I wanted to hear from someone else in a 'similar' situation that it is difficult to put your EMA above your children and you still want to do everything you can for your kid. Sorry for babbling, it's just that when I read your posts...you sound just like him and I feel that I get a better understanding of it when someone else feels the same way. Although my MM and I talk a LOT, it's comforting to hear someone else say it. Thank you for your openness and allowing me to understand him more.
I think it's ok to let your OW see your sadness sometimes, it's reasuring to her that you do care, and I honestly believe we need to be very open and honest with our MM/MW/OM/OW. This is something MM and I promised each other at the beginning to always be honest and open, never to lie or tell the other what we think they want to hear. Both of us have to do that enough at home.
EMA PMS I like that. And hope I'm not dragging this saddness around all weekend.
I'm glad that your MM makes you feel great. It's that giddy feeling that we get and it's such a great gift to be able to have them in our lives!
BTW - I am head over heels in love with him and can't imagine him not being part of my life!!!
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