safe sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
safe sex
7
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 9:14pm
Well, I was reading georgiapeach's thread from a couple days ago with the question about anal sex...and I noticed that everyone who replied said something along the lines of sometimes we use condoms, sometimes not...or, "condom? Never thought of that..."

I guess I assumed everybody here would probably be using condoms all the time for IC (not just anal)...but apparently not...why not? It seems really surprising to me...in my A from the very beginning condoms/safe sex were just a given...and I think MM and I are actually pretty LOW risk...we even discussed whether or not to use them for oral (we don't). And it's not easy for us either, he's big and can only use a large-size brand which are pretty nasty (not very thin/sensitive). He hates 'em. But it's always just been assumed necessary...

Is it a Canadian thing maybe (to assume you will only have safe sex)? Maybe we have different sex ed here? Or is it because OM and I met on a sex site?

anyway, curious! I'd set up a poll but I don't know how.

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 2:46am
We don't use rubbers. I have actually never used one in my whole life! But I am about as low risk as they get. I have only ever been with my husband besides MM. And for a medical reason I had a whole bunch of STD tests right before I met MM. He hasn't been with anyone but W in ten years and he's fixed so I can't get knocked up. Quite frankly it's a big part of why I am not in a rush to date or for this to end. Not only does he understand me and kinky sex needs (and I his) we don't have to use condoms or birth control. Actually twice as lucky for me cuz I am not allowed to take any hormonal birth control (which is basically EVERYTHING!!!).

~jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 6:43am
Oh you better believe MM will be "suiting up". I'm not on the pill, not about to start - besides I think H who has been snipped "might" wonder why I'm using b/c.

Even if I were on the pill, I really have no way of knowing where my MM was before me....or his wife for that matter.

I HATE them, but you have to be safe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2004
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 8:55am
I absolutely use them every single time I'm with anyone other than my wife! Even if I consider OW "safe", I can't be sure what her H is up too. Even though she "thinks" he's safe and not fooling around, heck, he thought the same thing of her!!!

Even if you're not concerned about AIDS, HPV has no virtually symptoms and causes cervical dysplacia which, if left untreated WILL develop into cervical cancer. And I read somwhere on Yahoo that almost every case of cervical cancer can be traced to HPV of some variety and HPV is almost always contracted sexually. And it's transfered from woman to man as easily as many to woman (since men don't have cervix's, we don't get symptoms, we're just carriers). So, I'd rather not bring that piece of business back to my house. Condoms are just to easy to use!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 10:47am
maybe it's myself being little, and he's quite... well... large...

i don't think sex would "work" with one... plus it seems less emotional with one... like without one you're closer and fit better or something

condoms always seem to lead to yeast infections... yuck

condoms dry out quickly... ouch

I don't think Omaha wanted me to post this... oh well :P

IS

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 11:37am
My om and I don't use condoms either. I had only been with my H for the 10 years before my A started, I can't take any kind of birth control for health reasons and because my h has been snipped and would wonder. Om has also been snipped so getting pregnant isn't an issue. As for STD's I know I am taking a huge risk. OM has been with MANY women in his past(he is 16yrs older than me). He says he tests clean so I just take his word for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 3:33pm
Just a side note, condoms do not necessarily prevent HPV, as the virus can cover the entire genital area in a man, so any type of contact with any part of the genital area can spread the virus. Don't mean to scare you, but wanted to make you aware that this is a difficult STD to prevent and almost 70% of the popluation will have contracted it by age 70. For most people, the body's own immune system can "cure" the virus as there is no medical cure.

Not that these statistics are good, but 30-50% of those with cervical dysplasia have the dysplasia develop into cervical cancer but those are high enough odds to get checked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
In reply to: barefootgirl22
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 6:48pm
Nope. Don't use them. For pregnancy purposes, we're both fixed. But for STD's I know I'm clean, and I trust SO that he is. I *will* be getting checked once or twice a year from here on out now that I am with someone new. But that's really just for peace of mind, I trust SO completely that he is. He knows everyone he's been with as well as all the men his women have been with.

Lucky