safety in posting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
safety in posting
59
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 3:37pm
My biggest fear right now is posting to this site! Is it safe to post under my own user name and believe my H won't find out? Is there a way for him to see what I have written through our computer? He does not snoop, but I need to know in case he has any suspicions. How safe is this?

Thanks!

Lazyone

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 3:43pm
If your husband knows your screenname, i.e. lazyone2004, then sure, he can find this site and look at the boards and see what you have written. Anyone can read these posts, but you have to be a member to actually post.I think the best thing for you do to is to get new nick, one that he would not be able to figure out, just in case he were to ever find this site, and then you should be safe. I feel very safe posting as long as everything is generic. Also, if you are concerend about him finding this site, then the best thing to do is to delete your cookies and history and temp files each time you log off. Hope this helps.

Mama

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 4:21pm

great advice hotmama -- exactly what i was getting ready to post to lazyone.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 7:31pm
HI Lazy

I happen to be in the IT business and the truth is that anyone can go online and download free software that runs in the background unnoticed and tracks your keystrokes passwords and anything else you do with the computer, deleting cachs cookies and the like provide no protection at all, using this software is simple and anyone can install it in minutes.

Just for your info

FREE

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 8:22pm
How about Spybot? We have that program installed. If your computer is running slow, it's because too much crap is running in the background. You can delete oodles of Temp files, and Spybot detects if someone/something is trying to come in and look around, this is my understanding. We also have ZoneAlarms
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 8:58pm
HI Snookums

Spybot was built to detect intrusion from outside and uses a form of database to know what to look for the software I am talking about would be installed by the spouse or someone elso on the PC it would not be detected by spybot and a firewall would be of no use because is blocks outside access and does not monitor what is going on on the PC itself, this software was built to hide on the PC and not be found it does not take enough CPU Cycles to slow the PC down, the ownly way to find it is to know that it is there first.A pro would find it if he/she knows that it is there an Amateur would have to be very lucky.

FREE

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 9:23pm
How about "SpyCop" and Evidence Elliminator? Are those programs any good or bunk?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 10:25pm
HI Snookuns

Evidence Elliminator like all of that type of software looks in predetermined places for info , spy software will capture the information as you are doing whatever your doing and store it in a encrypted form that Elliminator will not understand, besides all that there claims are just BULL*HIT it is next to impossable to remove info from a harddrive without overwriting it hundreds of times, even f-disk and reformat do not work.

Spycop makes the claim that it can detect all spy software , HOW the ownly way for it to do that is to know about all the spy software there is or the file names or look for some sort of predetermined footprint, if I as a software engineer change specific things about my software then the footprint will change and it will not be detected.

If it were possable to detect and stop every type of software produced then virus writers would be out of business today.

ANYONE SAYING THAT THEY CAN DETECT AND STOP ALL SOFTWARE HAS A PRODUCT TO SELL $$$$

If a spouse installs spy software and you kill it your telling them that they have a reason to whatch you more closely and Affairs cannot servive that.

FREE

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 1:59am
Thanks for all of the information. I do feel fairly safe - but I will protect my username. He won't figure it out. I did have another that he could figure out. I actually use that one on different boards. He knows I come to ivillage a lot. He is not suspicious in the least - not now anyway. I will keep it that way. This is crazy, but I do love him and don't want to hurt him. OM can also help me get some of the stuff off of my computer if needed (don't want him to read these either though!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:11pm
Spybot and other spyware detectors can't catch it all. There's spyware out there now that he could load on the computer, set the configurations, then move the actual file to a disk so all he has to do is pop it in and open up the spyware to see what you did. Then when he's done, he takes it out and you will never know. The only thing it saves are the screen shots which are encrypted and cannot be opened or tampered with without that disk, if you can find them where they're buried in subdirectories in the first place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Fri, 01-30-2004 - 3:29pm
Now y'all have me confused which is very easy since I am not very computer literate. But if I am typing right now some software can pick this up and download it somewhere where my DH could than read it later?

I think I had asked this earlier- what if you just have a msn account that is free so the messages are never saved to my computer. Can this be accessed? MM is going through a divorce and at first felt uncomfortable about email- but feels OK now. I am worried that I may get dragged into it if his W finds out anything. We have been friends for 20+ years so I am not as worried about phone calls as he is. He thinks they are easily traceable--which I agree, but it is just a record that a call was made - not a transcript.

So how do you use email to MM and feel comfortable that you won't get caught??

tb

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