Same sex affairs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Same sex affairs...
8
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:30am
My cousin just discovered his wife has been having an affair with another women...do we have anyone with us in that situation? Im curious how the details of this type of affair differ from a hetrosexual affair...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:54am
Damn, you beat me to it... I was just thinking about posting this question the other day. Several years ago DH and I were friends with a couple whose marriage ended because of her affair with another woman. Another friend and I went out to dinner once when our DHs were out to sea, and these two guys came up to us and started flirting, and I said, "Thanks, but we're married," and without missing a beat she says, "Oh, but not to each other!" What a hoot-- I'll never forget that chica!

I too am curious about the different dynamic. For starters, I bet they have an easier time getting alone time together, and nobody thinks twice about seeing them out in public together!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 11:11am
oh my goodness, liberal, i'm always saying to my best friend (more like a twin me, sorry NMR! lol) that i'd be living with her if i could just bring myself to eat, well, you know what!! sorry if that grosses any of you out, but sometimes i just want to be with my girlfriends that "get" me and leave all the men in our dust! but only sometimes....

anyway, i now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.....


gurl

Avatar for aimless02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 1:30pm
There were a few women several months ago involved in same sex affairs. The rules, highs and lows are the same as with heterosexual relationships. If anything, I would imagine the pain is much more intense and hearing it just breaks your heart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 4:16pm

Hey Ladies,


We did have a lovely member on board some time back that was in a same sex affair... but she seems to have gone missing in action... as I lot do.


I will say I've had word regarding a few members on other boards about being discovered in same sex affairs... that were a little worried about posting here... maybe this is our chance to welcome them to join in if they are out and about lurking and to let them know they are more than welcome to be here.


luv and hugs to all

Sweet
Community Leader My Affair Support
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Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 4:28pm
i agree sweet, that this board should welcome all people, female and male, who need support for their Rs. so anyone lurking and dying to post, please feel free.

ALL ARE WELCOME!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 4:32pm

My aunt left my uncle for another women...although it was a phase and while they are still divorced, she's gone back to men. I would imagine that infedelity is the same no matter who is involved. There's still secrets, hiding, anxiety, and rollercoaster emotions.


Haunted

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 1:34pm
I was hoping my thread didnt stir up anyone with negative opinions on this matter. But just as I expected, you girls are so welcoming to everyone and I do encourage anyone lurking to always feel free to post here on our board...it's all good...

TGIF

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:54am
Well after thinking about this some time i decided to respond to this message.

Women having an affair with another woman could be for any number of reasons. SOme women are tampering with the idea of leaving men and being with women exclusively. Some women can get really emotionaly involved with abother woman but still keep the same exclusive feelings for her man. And some...just like the touch of a woman and keep it purely physical.

I have a girlfriend...if you willl...she and i are friends, good friends...we talk about all the regular stuff that chicks talk about...husbands...getting pregnet and having children. We hang out and then sometimes just get touchy feely with one another. We kiss and stuff like that...but there really is no emotional investment in this relationship. In fact, it never occured to me to come to this board for any kind of advice or support for my relationship with her. It never became that confusing or stressful. Its so mellow and laid back. Now true lesbians don't like ppl like me...they tend to take the side that either you do like women only or you like men. So bisexuals tend to lay low cuz of all the criticsm from lesbian women. Know what i mean?

And....this is crazy....i met mm online while looking for a woman.

Yes i do come to this board for my relationship with mm...(yes i know, crazy life) but like i said, my relationship with her is free from all the caos one has in a relationship with someone they have invested emotionally in.

So in answer to your question Liberal...the relationship with your cousins wife and her lady friend...could be serious, or could be just a play thing. It all depends on her frame of mind. So you could never really understand it without asking her point blank.

Hope that helps.

Let me know if you want to know anything else.

And one last thing...one poster said it was probably easier to have time with the lady than with any mm/om. Not necessarily true. It is easier for her cuz her husband keeps her on long leash...mine doesn't. And he would want to know why i was spending so much time with this NEW friend. And how do you explain going out and getting a room just the two of you. I guess thats becuz i knew what i was doing with this woman..i would appear guilty with the h. Its not any easier with a woman. And in public...well....ppl will stare at two woman way more than a guy/girl type thing. So discretion is still a must.

Firefly