saturday story
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-19-2004 - 9:57am |
First of all, thank you all so much for the love and support on my other post. I was really very unsettled when I sent it, which seems to have been conveyed though that wasn’t my principal intention.
Friday night the OW and I went to bed and I found myself lying there, staring at the ceiling. Our date for the evening fell apart because we had to hang around while someone worked on her car, then retrieve her daughter… you know, real life intrusions that As don’t always have to face. So in a way, it was a more real approximation of what life is like as a couple.
In the course of looking at the ceiling, I had to kind of face that I’d spent most of the week starting to feel a little -- for lack of better terms – “vanilla.” In the interest of being brief, I’ll spare the details, but in only about two weeks we had both kind of stopped communicating as much as we always had. With more one on one time it was already starting to feel a little too much like another R I’m currently leaving and it really worried me.
Again, in the interest of telling the better story, I��ll shorten things. We finally ended up talking about 2am and a lot of it was important but difficult communication. We realized that maybe we’re both holding back a little communication because we’re both still scared but for different reasons. We finally went to bed and when I woke up and ran errands, I felt better, but I was thinking about the advice I’d ignored and how if I had listened this would have been so much easier.
So, now for the good and warm story...
We had planned on taking her daughter and friend to the lake Saturday. It seemed unlikely we’d see anyone who knew us so early in the season and we just wanted to be “out” together. She packed a picnic and we went. It was an absolutely perfect day, one of those days of sunshine, 75 degrees and pleasant breezes that make the surface of the water dance.
We all hiked in the woods, then ate by the lake. The girls were silly and we had the best time, and I really felt like all of the tension and quiet of the night were disappearing. The day just got better as it went along, until the girls were walking on the beach and OW and I were lying on the blanket.
At the head of the blanket was a small patch of clover I reached up and absent-mindedly flicked my fingers through. OW looked down and said, “Oh, don’t even look. When I was a kid I spent hours and days one summer looking through patches of that stuff looking for a four leaf clover. I never found one.” I questioned if she’d ever even seen one, and she shortly told me that she kind of thought they were a myth.
I thought, ‘Hmm. It would so nice if I could find one for her since she’s never had one.’ Before my mind had even completed the thought, a four leaf clover appeared at my fingertips. Her words had barely finished, and my thought that arced over her words was incomplete, and this silly little clover just sprang up from his friends into my fingers. Believe in fate or don’t, but that was pretty damned amazing.
“Kitten,” I said to get her attention. She stopped talking and leaned over to look, then started to cry on me. She gave me a little kiss on the cheek and told me she thought I was amazing. I told her ‘we’ are amazing, that I only found it because I was looking for her and not myself.
And that was my Saturday.
Thanks for reading, thanks for all of your support, and I hope everyone has a wonderful week.
rain

Well, it's the roller coaster ride again, and I'm sure that you'll have a few more occassions while going through your situation, where you will begin to question (sometimes, I wish we could just shut our minds down - even for a few hours), but always remember, that when those times rush in, we are here for you. And also remember, that beautiful dawn is just around the corner from dark night.
Take care
Red
Edited 4/23/2004 1:24 pm ET ET by julietsfate
rain
Edited 4/23/2004 1:25 pm ET ET by julietsfate
Awww, Rain, what a sweet Saturday!
life
A friend of mine finds four leaf clovers constantly, every day, wherever she goes. I swear I have sat in a field with her for over four hours myself and never found a single one where she sitting right next to me completely filled a 4" by 6" wooden box full of them. She always tells me "You're looking too hard." LOL She affixes them to sticky tape and hands them out to everybody. Around these parts.... if you know Gina you are sporting a 4 leaf clover somewhere. I think I have 2 in my purse at this moment.
elf