Saw AP w/ W last night

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Saw AP w/ W last night
5
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 2:45am

We all had same thing on the mind for a Thursday night out, I guess.


He kicked my chair twice as he walked by my table. I was with gals from work, and caught him watching me as the night went on.


Oh how I wanted to grab him and kiss him.


We met for lunch today and he asked if seeing them together bothered me. My answer was no, of course not...they are M and I knew this along time ago. Why would he ask that? Is it an ego booster of sorts if I had said "yes" instead?


Again today for a good part of our conversation we talked about how this has gone further (in the emotions dept) than either of us expected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 8:43am

Oh wow - you are a much cooler chick than me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 10:35am

MM and I have been together for over 8 years. About 6 months into our A we were at a park and he could tell something was bugging me. He asked what was wrong and I told him I had something to tell him, but I didn't know how, or if I should, or anything, and that I was really, really scared to tell him. But, like I believe all A's should be, we promised total honesty and trust with each other, so, finally I told him I thought I was falling in love with him.


He stood quiet for a minute or so, and then he asked what we were going to do about it, and I told him that I thought we should probably just do what we were doing, then he said good, because I am falling in love with you.


He was afraid to tell me he loved me because he thought I would expect him to leave his W. I had no intentions of leaving H, and I knew that he wasn't planning on leaving W. But, what we found in each other was what we lacked anywhere else.


Now, going in to 9 years together, I am widowed, and he is still M. I still don't expect him to leave is W for me, and our love actually deepens every day.


We talk about EVERYTHING, his W, his M, his work (he is in the middle of huge work decision, and rather than his W, I am the one helping talk through the pros and cons).


So, you absolutely can have love in your A, and still stay M. I do suppose it will affect the feelings of your M, but, it doesn't mean that you have to plan on leaving your M because of it.


And, if you vowed honesty to each other, you should believe his feelings for you, and you should be able to tell him why you don't.


mom


p.s. I have only had about 1/3 cup of coffee, so if I missed the boat on this post, forgive me until further caffeinated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 8:44am

"We met for lunch today and he asked if seeing them together bothered me. My answer was no, of course not...they are M and I knew this along time ago. Why would he ask that? Is it an ego booster of sorts if I had said "yes" instead?"

AP and I were together one time and we started talking about our spouses. He mentioned doing something with his W and then said to me "Does that bother you?" I told him no, I expected that he and his W would still do things together. But I wondered as well why he would ask that? Did he want me to say "yes, it bothered me"? Did I come across as calous or not having strong enough feelings for him by saying it didn't bother me? On the other hand, if I had said yes, it bothered me, would he have felt stifled?

Any guys want to chime in on this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 10:31am

hey girls!

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 5:32pm

Ugh I do love AP....very much so.


Googled his yahoo ID and found some interesting and very incriminating stuff when I did, kind of wished now I hadn't googled him:


Found him on myspace and another adult meeting site. I got sick to my stomach, as much as I would have had it been H I found on there. You know, the instant "I'm going to vomit" feeling. I blew up and sent him