Saying one thing but meaning another?
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| Thu, 08-19-2010 - 6:15pm |
So my AP and I got into a deep discussion again about what has to happen next month. We both know we have to cut out the physical end of thing and eventually just go back to being friends. He has been sending really mixed signals lately about that happening. In the first month of the relationship we were planning on being together, he made the decision to stay married. I am fine with that but deep down am hoping he changes his mind. Anyway, today he told me he was in over his head with feelings, I told him I was the same. He didn't realize just how deeply I cared for him and is worried it's going to be too hard to stop without me getting hurt. He knows I would be with him in a heartbeat if he would only leave his wife.
My point is, is he trying to convince himself? He told me he's just making sure I'm not getting any false hopes. He has always been 1 step forward and 2 steps back. We already tried to end the physical part of it but that didn't last long, then he went to saying he didn't know if we'd be able to but we really have to try. He's been the one to initiate all the extra contact lately. We were down to only talking every other night, now it's every night again, plus im'ing while he's at work. It's gotten really intense again and I guess I am confused. He's saying one thing but I really feel like he's thinking something else.
Am I just being hopeful?

Most likely, you're just being hopeful. But then, I'm a cynical soul LOL. Unless I hear about a guy SAYING - "Yes I'm leaving my wife", I don't believe it will happen, and then even if he says it, I still think it's a long shot.
Maybe he's sending mixed signals because he really wants things to continue the way they were - with him married and still having you to fill other voids he has. Maybe he's hoping that increased intensity will make you want that too. And I'm not one to discount that he has feelings - I think he probably does. But I don't think those feelings will cause him to leave his wife.
Or, you could ask him what it all means. He's really the only one who knows.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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