Scream, Cus, *expletive* *expletive*

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Scream, Cus, *expletive* *expletive*
4
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 9:20am

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I really just need to go outside and scream at the top of my freakin lungs! This morning was going to be the morning. I was going to make the move....*kiss the boy* for God's sake. I'm tired of playing this silly cat and mouse game!


Well, let's start with last night. Both he and his wife came in to pick up the kids. Happened that all my "parents" got here at the same time so there was a bit of ruccus and commotion (btw, HDCmomma stands for home daycare-momma) so all the parents are leaving including OM and his wife. Wife was the first one up the stairs, followed by a couple others and then OM and I followed OM. I kinda grabbed his waist and pulled him to me and he reached his arm backwards and grabbed my waist, but then pushed away.


So I had made up my mind that this morning, I was going in for the kiss. WELL....OM dropped the kids off 30 minutes early and my H was still home, but in bed. DAMMIT! So it's now another 24 hours before I can make my move. Tomorrow is the last day OM will be here. If it's not tomorrow, then it won't be until the new year! I'm going to lose my mind!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 9:28am
Calm down, girl, and enjoy the early stages of your A. It will happen, in time. He is clearly not comfortable with making any moves when his W is around. You may need to escape in your own family holiday gatherings and wait until the new year. You have a lot to look forward to in the new year!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 9:42am

Too funny...I was just telling myself that I needed to cool it until after the new year. Maybe there will be less guilt after the holidays...when he won't be with his family 24/7 for 2 weeks straight...I'm keeping my eye on the prize though...it'll happen. It's inevitable. I'm not going to get my hope up about seeing him tomorrow before his 2 week break....but I won't be so upset if nothing happens...again! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 10:02am
I think a lot of us take a break from our A during the holidays. My MM who works from home, will have the W (a teacher) and their two kids at home for the next two weeks. As we talked yesterday, he said he would have to call me while he is alone on the golf course or when she is not at home during the next two weeks.

Enjoy your break from all those kids and remember it will be so good when you finally get it. My MM and I talked about it for 2 months before we took a four-day "business" trip together and it was wonderful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:07pm
I wonder if maybe you aren't jumping into more than he and/or you are ready for because you have this "deadline" looming. That's not really a fair thing to impose upon yourself. I know it's hard, but think of it this way: if you DON'T do anything before the holidays, it'll give you something to look forward to afterward. Something to fantasize about... Think about it -- is kissing him before you go going to make the holidays any easier to endure? I know right now it SEEMS like it will, but it won't. If anything, it might make it harder. I think it's instinctual to believe that we should have some big send-off whenever we're not going to see the one we love during the holidays, but in the case of EMAs, that's just not always possible. Sometimes you don't even get to say goodbye, as I've learned. I've tried to learn to deal with the disappointment and there's really no easy answer. You'll think you're going to get to see them and talk to them and kiss them or whatever one last time on Friday and then Friday comes and guess what? Life gets in the way and you have to set off on this long draught with nothing. On Thanksgiving weekend MM left early and didn't even tell me ahead of time and I came back to my desk with a "Have a great turkey day" message. I was SO disappointed, but you know what? It was okay. Once you're into the Christmas vacation, you'll be able to look forward to it ending, as opposed to all this month we've all spent DREADING its beginning! I don't know about you all, but for me it's really not all that hard once I'm away from him. It's the days leading up to the separation that are so tough...