Breathe, relax. It will be OK. I think many of us have sent those kinds of emails at one time or another. If you and AP are OK together, he'll cope and he's got the weekend to think about how he wants to react. Don't worry if you don't hear from him for an extra day or two, he'll probably be processing. It seems to take guys a while sometimes. There is nothing wrong with admitting how you feel in your A. You are part of it and have the right to own your own feelings.
You won't really know if you said "too much" till you hear from him! LOL!
Relax, my guess is that it's fine, and it will open up a new discussion. If all he wanted was a f*ckbuddy, you'll find out now, and if that's not what you wanted then an ending at this point would be a good thing. It's better that he knows your feelings and the two of you can work out what you need to work out.
An affair is like any R in many ways - feelings develop and people have to decide what to do with them and where to go with them.
Keep us updated - I'm betting this will end up being a good thing for you.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
Well, I think your being honest with him has been a good thing. He absolutely understood what you were asking, and he has said he would love to give you "more" if he could - but both of you have to remember the limitations.
In your mind, doing something more "real" like going for a hike or a movie etc. would show you that he thinks about you as more than an occasional sex partner. But those things are dangerous - you could run into people you know, or even be seen from a distance where you wouldn't even be aware that you were "caught". Spending more time together, even occasionally, could raise red flags that you want to keep away. Is there any other way that you could feel more "special" to him, without risking more than you're risking? Do you have sex every time you see each other? Maybe making some of the "dates" you have be all talking and cuddling, no sex, would help you feel you're more "special" to him? Maybe an occasional card or little gift (card you could throw away after, little gift must be something you could have bought yourself) would help you. I don't know. Only you know what it is you want.
Yes an A has limitations that you have to recognize, and sometimes that realization is disheartening. If it's going to be too much to bear then maybe you're not cut out for it all.
But it sounds like you've got a really great guy who understands where you're coming from, isn't blowing you off saying "What do you expect, this is an affair??" And he'd probably love to find a way to make you happy if he could, within the limitations...
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
Breathe, relax. It will be OK. I think many of us have sent those kinds of emails at one time or another. If you and AP are OK together, he'll cope and he's got the weekend to think about how he wants to react. Don't worry if you don't hear from him for an extra day or two, he'll probably be processing. It seems to take guys a while sometimes. There is nothing wrong with admitting how you feel in your A. You are part of it and have the right to own your own feelings.
Pisces
You won't really know if you said "too much" till you hear from him! LOL!
Relax, my guess is that it's fine, and it will open up a new discussion. If all he wanted was a f*ckbuddy, you'll find out now, and if that's not what you wanted then an ending at this point would be a good thing. It's better that he knows your feelings and the two of you can work out what you need to work out.
An affair is like any R in many ways - feelings develop and people have to decide what to do with them and where to go with them.
Keep us updated - I'm betting this will end up being a good thing for you.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
I have had an email response from him in my inbox since around lunch today.
Let us know hon - we are hangin on the edge with you.
Edited 9/22/2008 5:38 pm ET by toolittle2late
Well I have read and re-read and still don't know what I think.
Edited 9/23/2008 2:11 pm ET by toolittle2late
Well, I think your being honest with him has been a good thing. He absolutely understood what you were asking, and he has said he would love to give you "more" if he could - but both of you have to remember the limitations.
In your mind, doing something more "real" like going for a hike or a movie etc. would show you that he thinks about you as more than an occasional sex partner. But those things are dangerous - you could run into people you know, or even be seen from a distance where you wouldn't even be aware that you were "caught". Spending more time together, even occasionally, could raise red flags that you want to keep away. Is there any other way that you could feel more "special" to him, without risking more than you're risking? Do you have sex every time you see each other? Maybe making some of the "dates" you have be all talking and cuddling, no sex, would help you feel you're more "special" to him? Maybe an occasional card or little gift (card you could throw away after, little gift must be something you could have bought yourself) would help you. I don't know. Only you know what it is you want.
Yes an A has limitations that you have to recognize, and sometimes that realization is disheartening. If it's going to be too much to bear then maybe you're not cut out for it all.
But it sounds like you've got a really great guy who understands where you're coming from, isn't blowing you off saying "What do you expect, this is an affair??" And he'd probably love to find a way to make you happy if he could, within the limitations...
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
You are completely right about me looking for ways to feel like more than just a sex partner.
One more update because it totally caught me off guard and I had to share some good news.