Sex-does that get your attention LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Sex-does that get your attention LOL
3
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 8:49am
Ok, I've been seeing OM for 2 years, and physically intimate with him for about 6 mo. Well, he's been hinting around that he wants to know if I still have sex with H. Well, I've been very good at sidestepping this question because I know if I tell him no, I'm lying, and if I say Yes, it'll hurt his feelings.

I love my OM, and I do care about my H. If I quit having sex with H he would definitely know that something is up. Admittedly, our sex life has slowed considerably, but we still do it a couples times a week.

OM and I rarely get to "go all the way" because of time constraints and location difficulties, but we are very intimate in other ways. I know he would prefer that I didn't sleep with H, but the only way I could justify that is to just leave H outright, and I'm not prepared to do that.

I don't want to hurt OM's feelings, and I feel very uncomfortable talking about H with him in that manner. How do the rest of you deal with that Q? I mean it's not like OM isn't aware that I'm married or anything, just he's having a hard time knowing he's not the "only one" in my life. BTW, OM is single, I'm married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 9:01am
My MM and I pretty much sidestep the question. He and his W sleep in separate rooms as do my H and myself, but (at least in my house) there is sex on extremely rare occassions. I try not to think about my MM and his W's sex life. I prefer to believe they don't have sex (my own kind of denial - ha ha). He states they haven't in months, but I don't pressure him for details, nor does he ask for details from me. Sex with my MM is incredible, and that's what I choose to focus on. As far as your OM hinting that he wants to know if you and your H are having sex, just tell him that the only time you "make love" it is with him. Maybe that will be enough.....

Best of luck with the continued R.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 1:59pm

well, he isn't the only one in your life, is he?

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 2:39pm
OM knows I'm married, but regardless of facts, everyone knows that emotions have a mind of their own. I just wondered if anyone else had encountered this with an OM. I mean if OM were also M, I doubt this would be an issue.

So far, he hasn't said anything about it. But I really like the response about making love, because it's absolutely true. I only have sex with H because I know I have to. There is little fulfillment there. Whereas with OM, it's like we connect, mind, body & soul.